360 days of Adho Mukha Svanasana

Recommit

2012-01-01T13:56:00.000-08:00

Welcome back. It has been awhile since I last posted here. But I'm writing now.

Since I completed my 360 (+5) days of Adho Mukha Svanasana last January, my yoga path, my practice, and my relationship with my body have changed. I'd like to say for the better, but that isn't true. I've been following my yoga path halfheartedly. Like a 10-year-old child who must go on a 3-mile day hike with her parents, my practice has been prone to a lot of stops and starts, grumbling and complaining at times, and then, in the next moment, enthusiastically racing ahead, eager to see what lies ahead. I've lacked direction and focus, and other things have often preoccupied my mind. My inconsistent practice has resulted in diminished attention to and appreciation of my body: its needs and wants, its strengths and weaknesses, its beauty and impermanence.

Everyday offers us an opportunity to start new, to recommit to paths and relationships from which we've wandered and strayed. This January, I am recommitting to my yoga path, my practice, and my body. I recommit so that I may regain direction and focus in line with my highest intentions and aspirations, calmness and clarity in my mind, and awe and respect for my body.

"It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life for me...and I'm feeling good."*

Asana of the Week: Utkatasana, Part II

2011-03-01T13:02:00.000-08:00

I love Utkatasana a.k.a. Chair Pose so dang much, I decided to make it my asana of the week for another week!

Ha. Actually, I still have so much aversion to Utkatasana that I thought I needed to sit with it a little longer. (That's a yoga joke, see, because Utkatasana is more commonly known as a chair and you sit in a chair. See? Ba-da-da!)

The Thing fears Utkatasana almost as much as I do.

So last week, I did Utkatasana daily as promised, though the frequency and duration varied from day to day. And I still absolutely find it to be a challenging pose. Reviewing the pose's mental benefits (see the Utkatasana FYI at the end of my last post), I agree that Utkatasana does build focus and stimulates the mind. A few things my mind is focusing on:

Whether or not I can deepen my groin muscles further back and down to get my legs closer to a 90-degree angle
Checking my foundation to make sure I'm balanced and not about to tip over and fall on my butt
Wondering if I'm over-arching my back, and trying to engage the core and puff up my kidney area to give my back some support and relief, while still moving the torso towards a vertical position
Keeping my shoulders down instead of hunched up around my ears
Bringing my arms closer to my head while also taking them up and back further
Not to looking down, but straight ahead.
Lifting the corners of my mouth. (Well, I should be trying to do this!)
Surviving.

Another mental benefit of Utkatasana is that it helps develop willpower. No kidding. To sit in this pose for longer than five seconds takes super willpower. Like with any challenge, some days the willpower is easier to muster than others. I can be a pretty willful person, but not always. When it comes to something difficult, I think I could always use a little more willpower to face the challenge. Thus I'm going to keep working with Utkatasana this week. Perhaps by the end of TWO weeks of Chair, I'll be able to comprehend how the pose offers the final mental benefit: stress reduction!

Asana of the Week: Utkatasana

2011-02-21T11:55:00.000-08:00

AND I'm back!

Here we go...

I'm overdue for a post about yoga in the post-Lasik, post-360 days of Adho Mukha Svanasana, but there's no time for that today. But I did want to get back on the yoga-blogging horse, and I've been thinking about giving myself a new little yoga challenge, so voila: Asana of the Week. Yes, I know, this isn't the most creative idea I've ever come up with, but I think that it is still a GOOD idea.

Working with a specific pose everyday for a week is a way for me to really get to know that pose. If it is a pose that inspires a degree of dread in my heart, maybe this will help me become more comfortable with the pose and more patient with myself. Also, it is a good way for me to think about the anatomy of a pose, to consider my own body's reception of that pose, to learn modifications, and to find out about a pose's benefits as well as its contraindications. To start my asana o' week challenge off, I've selected Utkatasana, commonly known as Chair pose.

Look, I drew a chair!

Oh, Utkatasana.... Utkatasana is indeed a pose that inspires a degree of dread in my heart. Rumor has it, it inspires dread in the hearts of many. Of course it does, because it is kind of hard. Utkatasana requires strength. Thigh strength, for sure, because that's where we feel the main burn when in the pose. But it also requires arm strength and perhaps most importantly, core strength. See, Utkatasana not only is a standing pose, but it is also a bit of backbend. Therefore, to prevent lower back compression and injury, it is important to keep the core strong and the arms lifting up.

Not drawn to scale, or with accurate proportions, or with proper alignment, really.

Given my strong yoga/runner's thighs, it isn't terribly surprising that the challenging core and arm work are why I hate on Utkatasana a little now and then. On reflection, these are the issues I have with all backbends. I have a fear of hurting my back, and I don't like feeling any discomfort there. So I feel like I'm always on this teeter totter in backbends: engage the core, go up and back, but not too far, so engage the core more, tuck the tailbone, but wait, this is a backbend, so go back, but wait, not too far, so.... Plus, I'm a little lazy about poses where I have to hold my arms up alongside my ears for too long.

Oh yeah, and I can't forget the flexibility aspect of Utkatasana. To reach that golden 90-degree angle, to sit down and back, flexibility in the hips and groins helps. If I'm feeling a little tight in my hips, like something isn't quite optimum, one or both of them may just pop back into alignment while I'm trying to sit down and back in Utkatasana. Happens all the time. And I appreciate the pose for that.

Anyway, Asana of the Week: Utkatasana. No matter how long my daily yoga practice times are this week, I will make time to do Utkatasana two to three times. Maybe more. I will hold it for 15 to 30 seconds each time. My week with it began on Saturday, so I'll do Utkatasana daily until next Saturday, when I'll select a new pose of the week. And I will do my best to write about my process with Utkatasna once more before the week is up. I'd love to hear about your challenges, or your enthusiastic embrace, of this pose. Also, feel free to nominate a pose for future Pose of the Week, though I'm going to be sticking to the basics for now (i.e. poses I don't need 40 minutes of warming up before executing).

Utkatasana or Chair pose FYI*

Physical benefits: lengthens the spine; strength-building for feet, ankles, calves, knees, tush, and thighs; chest opening; digestive, circulatory, and reproductive system stimulation.
Mental benefits: builds focus & willpower; mind stimulation; stress reduction.
Contraindications: low blood pressure; insomnia; back injury; knee injury (try the gentle variation with knees bent slightly).
Counter pose: Follow with Uttanasana (Standing Forward Bend).

*Adapted from Hatha Yoga Illustrated, by Martin Kirk, Brooke Boon, & Daniel DiTuro. Human Kinetics, 2006.

The Credits

2011-01-03T18:13:00.000-08:00

And, in the end, the love you take/

Is equal to the love you make.

-The End by The Beatles (Lennon/McCartney)

Savasana view from my mat at the cabin

Many, many people have supported me over the last 360 days. Some of them didn’t even know they were helping me, or what the heck they were helping me with, but I’d like to take this moment and give thanks.

Thank you to all my teachers this year, in particular these regular-Jess teachers: Wendy & Meg at OmTown Yoga and Denise at Seattle Yoga Arts. Also, thanks to these other teachers I’ve had the honor to learn from at some point this year: Michael W., Rainey, Mauricio, Rachel, Grace, Michael S., Ki, Irene, Mike D., Marni, and Megan.

Thank you to the yoga studios and health facilities where I’ve been lucky enough to practice yoga during this year: OmTown Yoga, Seattle Yoga Arts, OmCulture Studio, Mieko’s Fitness Lake City, Hatha Yoga Center, Brio Health Spa and Fitness at the Grand Mayan (Riviera Maya), The Samarya Center, and NW Community Yoga.

I did yoga on this pier.

I also want to thank the following people for allowing me the space to practice in their homes, yards, or on their hotel bill(!) this year: Dad and Marianne (by my count, you’ve provided 4 spaces for me to practice yoga this year), Mom and Tim, Grandma, Jeremy and Marni, Jay and Jane, Kevin, Jamie, and Lizzy. Also, I thank your pets for their patience. And I can’t forget to thank the George W. Bush International Airport in Houston. Good times.

My yoga mat view from Jamie's yard in Queens in late November!

Thank you to friends I’ve had the honor of practicing yoga with this year, especially Tia for our awesome jointly-led practice at the lake over my birthday, Tae for our side-by-side lake practice, and Megan for taking me to her teacher’s studio for a class and also teaching me herself at another studio.

On that same note: Thank you to all my fellow yogis and yoginis in yoga classes, specifically Wendy’s 10 AM Wednesday class and Meg’s 5:30 PM Thursday class at OmTown, and Denise’s 7 PM Monday class at SYA.

I HAVE to thank the other professionals: Dr. Belcher (my GP), Julie at G2 Sports (my physical therapist), and fantastic LMTs Linda at Hills Resort and Kristin at Dreamclinic.

So many people have supported me by being flexible with time to allow me to cram in my yoga, or inquiring about how the yoga is going, or reading and commenting on my blog, or just commenting on and “liking” my Facebook link to the yoga blog. Those people include: Alisha, Alison, April O., April V., Becca, Ben, Bob, Bronwyn, Carolyn, Cele, Charity, Chris D., Chris W., Christine, Cindy, Cricket, Dad, Dane, Dax, Don, Erica, Erika, Erin, Geoff, Gloria, Hilary, Holly, Ingrid, Jamie, Jane, Jason, Jay, Jeremy, Jillian, Jim, John B., John M., Julia, Julie, Justin, Kate M., Kate O., Katie, Kevin, Kris, Laura, Linda F., Linda R., Liz D., Liz K., Liz, Marci, Marianne, Marni, Matt, Megan, Michel, Mike K., Miyu, Mom, Nedra, Peggy, Quyen, Rachel, Ryan, Sarah, Shannon, Sonda, Tae, Tia, Tim F., Tim O., Tim R., Tim Y., Vicki, Wendy C., and Whitney.

Thank you, and thanks so many more people who have slipped my memory at this second. I thought about ALL of you during my practice today. Thank you for your pats on the back, your nudges, your interest, and just being great. I could NOT have done it without you.

Namaste!

Finale

2011-01-03T18:05:00.000-08:00

So did doing yoga for 360 straight days transform me forever?

I suppose I am transformed. But like I said in a recent post, yoga is a process. As is transformation. I did not wake up one morning during this journey and say, “Holy crap, I’ve transformed!” It is a quiet, gradual transformation that—as I’ve come to realize in my year-end reflections—is hard to quantify. I’ve reached the end of my 360 days of Adho Mukha Svanasana, but there is no end to transformation. I expect I’ll keep transforming in subtle ways as I take my yoga practice into 2011.

And because I'm an over-achiever, I'm going to go ahead and turn this into a full 365-day journey. Then, this Thursday, January 6, I will NOT do yoga. In fact, I probably won't do yoga for several days. "Why not?" you may ask. It isn't because I'm sick of yoga. I’m having Lasik surgery to correct my vision. Post-surgery, the doctor told me to avoid up and down movements or going upside down for a couple of days. Also, no sweating for a week or two. When it comes to vision, a girl’s gotta follow the doctor’s orders. After 30 years of wearing some sort of corrective lenses, I'm really excited about waking up and seeing things clearly in the morning, and never popping a contact lens into my eyes ever again.

I am also little nervous. About the surgery, of course, but also about the end of my year of yoga. Driving to and from Idaho last week, I listened to the audio book of The Golden Compass from Phillip Pullman's His Dark Materials trilogy. Subsequently, when I now think about my impending break from daily yoga practice, I envision it will feel like when the General Oblation Board severs the bond between a child and her daemon in The Golden Compass. It makes my heart hurt a little to even think about it. My yoga practice is that important a part of me.

Daemons Pantalaimon and Sophonax are never very far away from their humans, Lyra and Farder Coram

But it will only be a temporary break. While I won't berate myself for not doing yoga every single day, I plan to continue to make it a part of my days. You can too. If you’re interested, check out Yoga Journal’s 21-day Yoga Challenge for some structure and support.

So besides surgery, what’s next for me now that I’ve successfully completed my yoga 360? I really liked the focus and structure the yoga challenge brought to my life, so I’ve come up with a new challenge—more accurately, challenges—for 2011. I’ll be blogging about that here. Follow me on this new adventure, or better yet, join me!

While I will continue to blog here about yoga periodically, I've put together a credits roll for my 360 days of Adho Mukha Svanasana; please check it out here.

Namaste!

Butterfly metamorphosis image from Maria Merian's Dissertatio de Generatione et Metamorphosibus Insectorum Surinamensium, The Hague, 1726 edition.

Image of actors Tom Courtenay and Dakota Blue Richards from The Golden Compass, New Line Cinemas, 2007, dir. Chris Weitz.

More year-end reflections: sleep, drink, organization, and mindfulness!

2011-01-01T12:03:00.000-08:00

Some more reflections on the questions I asked last January now that my year of yoga has come full circle. I asked, by doing yoga every day for 360 days, will I:

Sleep better? Make smarter decisions about what I eat and drink?

On days when I’ve done yoga late, in the 7 to 9 PM window, I think it has helped me get relaxed and sleep ready. Otherwise, I can’t really say how much it has helped my overall quality/quantity of sleep. Likewise, I think that I’ve made smarter decisions about what to eat during the day before my yoga practice, but not necessarily afterwards. Finally, drink. The ~two times I’ve practiced with a hangover this year were not fun. But whether I do yoga or not, I really dislike hangovers and always drink in moderation to avoid them.

Funny or not, this is the quality of my hangover yoga practice. (image registered trademark of YogiBarra)

That said, yoga has served as a great indicator to me of my body’s needs in terms of sleep, food, and drink. When I get light-headed during the up and downs of sun salutations, that is a great indication that I’m deficient in one of these three necessities, likely hydration. When my endurance is particularly low, I’m short on rest and/or fuel. And my balance poses REALLY suffer when I’m short on sleep. So, while the activity of yoga hasn’t changed my patterns of sleeping, eating, and drinking, yoga has made me take notice of where I’m neglecting my body’s needs, and to act accordingly to remedy that situation.

Be more organized with my time and space? Keep my apartment cleaner so I have room for my yoga mat and to do handstand at the wall? Improve my focus and attention in other parts of my life?

not too shabby...

Why yes, my apartment in general has been more organized to accommodate my daily need for mat space. And yes, my time has been more organized. Putting in a physical activity like yoga or running into one’s days is a great organizational block around which to build other activities. When to get up, when to eat breakfast, when to go running, when to shower, when to make my lunch, and when to head to the office—these things have been informed by my yoga practice. And in turn, this has helped me focus better in other aspects of my life.

Be more mindful of others in my words and actions, even my thoughts? Be kinder to myself, love myself more, forgive myself for not being perfect?

There’s this expression you sometimes hear thrown out in yoga and meditation classes, “turning inward.” It is true; there is a lot of getting in touch with yourself in yoga, and not always so much getting in touch with the world around you when on the mat. Additionally, the act of blogging does breed a degree of narcissism. But I do feel that my time on the mat—particularly when practicing in classes—often does facilitate more awareness of and empathy for the struggles of others, particularly in the physical realm.

Yup, that's what empathy looks like.

There’s also an innate consideration that typically grows in the yogini the more she practices with others—more patience standing in line to put props back, an eagerness to scoot one’s mat over to make more space, a willingness to partner up with strangers and to spot them in poses in the most helpful way for their particular physical capabilities. I find this mindfulness lingers as I walk out of a yoga class into the “real” world. Maybe not all day, but for a little while.

I’ve already written about my mental state and self-esteem after my year of yoga here and here.

Levitate????

Aw, a girl can dream!

Namaste!

But can you bend into the shape of a pretzel yet?

2010-12-31T11:17:00.000-08:00

(Note: After I finish this post, I'm going to change into my yoga togs for yoga practice #360. Eeek!!!!)

A continuation of my reflections on some of the questions I asked upon beginning this 360 straight days of yoga practice. I asked, will I:

Master more challenging poses that we do once in awhile in yoga class and then don't return to again for several months, so that I never really feel like I've fully learned how to properly execute them? Poses like Bakasana?

I did Bakasana in my home practice yesterday. It is one of those poses that sometimes feels like second nature to get into. Then on other days, I feel totally befuddled about where to place my knees against my arms--it just feels not quite right, even if I'm placing the knees in the exact same place as I did the day before, when it felt easier than pie.

Anyway, I do feel like I am more capable and skilled with Bakasana, in general. Some of the other challenge poses I've worked on in class and at home this year, however, I am a long, long way from comfortable. Perhaps you remember this one:

Ah, good ole Eka Pada Galavasana... I quit working on this one because I was sick of looking like a battered woman. The pressure of my foot against my arm gave me bruises that looked like someone had grabbed me really hard. It wasn't such a big deal when the weather was cool outside, but when tank top weather arrived.... Also, my leg injury sort of put a hamper on this one. Take-Away Lesson: You can't be Super Woman when you walk with a hobble.

(Will I) Get my hamstrings to finally open up enough to straighten my legs all the way in Uttanasana or to touch my heels to the ground in Downward-Facing Dog?

My heels still do not touch the ground in Downward-Facing Dog. Honestly, I never for a second thought they would. That said, after warming up a little, they definitely get much CLOSER to the ground in Dog pose than they were a year ago. On the other hand, once warmed up, I really can straighten my legs all the way in Uttanasana now. I don't choose to very often, because I don't want to lock my knees, but I can do it. For whatever that's worth.

Stand on one leg with my other foot up by my head without tipping over?

Why yes, I kind of can do this now. Look!

Utthita Hasta Padangustasana

My foot is kind of by my head, right? I can't hold this forever, I can't straighten my leg all the way, and the pose has room for lots of improvement in terms of alignment and grace, BUT I can hold it without tipping over. Sometimes.

* * *

Overall, certain poses are easier now than last January, but my body resists other poses and movements just as much as it always has. And there are probably poses that are harder for me now than they were a year ago, because of an injury this year or maybe I just haven't been practicing it for awhile.

-Some poses that are easier: Uttanasana, Bakasana, Baddha Utthita Parsvakonasana, Utthita Hasta Padangustasana, Plank and Chaturanga Dandasana. (I used to HATE these last two poses. Now I like them. A lot.) Oh and can't forget Ardha Chandrasana--I'm especially proud of my work with Half Moon, a perpetually difficult, painful pose for me!

-Some poses are more difficult now than a year ago: Utkatasana (this one is a be-otch when you haven't been practicing it much), Malasana a.k.a. squat-asana, pigeon pose, Eye of the Needle pose. I used to LOVE Eye of the Needle, but it causes me a lot of pain on my right side at present, and my motion is quite limited.

I wonder which of these poses will be easier or more challenging for me at the end of 2011. The truth of the matter is: Yoga is a process. There is no grand finale. Everyday presents different obstacles to match the body's capabilities in that moment on the mat. Yesterday, Bakasana was easy for me. It might not be easy when I do it today. Mastery is not holding a pose perfectly day after day. Mastery is the act of showing up on the mat, attempting a pose to the best of one's abilities in that moment, and returning the next day to try again.


So many different ways one can bend a pretzel on any given day!

And now, I'm off to find out how my body wants to bend on this, my 360th straight day of yoga practice. More later! Namaste!

Day 348.

2010-12-19T12:24:00.000-08:00


But sadly, I still don't look like this.

In this post, I continue to reflect on this list of questions I posed when I first began this project, 348 days ago. I asked, after a year of daily yoga practice, will I:

Grow a few centimeters in height?

Okay, so to assess whether I grew any in height, I'm employing a highly unscientific method of standing shoeless against a wall, attempting to draw a pencil line in the exact right place at the top of my head, and then using measuring tape to figure the distance from pencil mark to floor. This process is made all the more unscientific by the fact that I didn't measure myself at the beginning of the year. On my driver's license, it says I'm 5 foot 6 inches tall, but the last time I got measured at the doctor's office proved that I am one of those people who round up to seem taller. According to the doctor, I was more like 5 foot 5-1/2 inches tall. ANYWAY, this morning, I measured myself as 5 foot 6-1/8 inches tall. Hmmm.... Did my pencil mark aim too high? Was I slouching at the doctor's office? Or did I grow a little bit? We'll never know for sure.

Nope, still too short for Splash Mountain!

I also asked, after a year of daily yoga practice, will I:

Look different--be slimmer or have more muscle bulk? Be stronger in my core? Be more stable in my pelvis? Have better posture/alignment? Develop those tiny muscles in my inner hips and the arches of my feet to protect my knees and to help stave off genetic physical ailments? Reduce the frequency of migraines? Improve my circulation? Achieve super healthy blood pressure readings?

Let me start by saying that this here body of mine has served me pretty well during my year of yoga. Yes, I've incurred some injuries. I'm happy to report that none of them have been incurred practicing yoga. I can't put a value on how many injuries I may have avoided by practicing yoga or staved off "genetic physical ailments," but I know that stretching my limbs and building muscle tone protects me a lot when I do high impact aerobic activities, like running, and even doing little things like getting into my car from a funny angle. The body can get hurt in really small, ridiculous ways. Trust me, I once re-sprained my ankle trying on a ski boot

Has my body changed? Of course it has, the body is always changing. Lately, I feel like my core is kind of weak, but it was super strong in June. It is winter after all, and my body and energy cycles just like the seasons. People have remarked on my fantastic posture over the year, but alignment and keeping my pelvis stabilized seem like things that need lifelong attention and continual adjustments. I don't know if yoga has helped prevent any migraines, though gentle yoga has been soothing when I've had one. Circulation? Sure, while I'm actually practicing, but in general? Who knows? And my blood pressure readings, they were pretty dang healthy before this year began, and they still are.

So now for the million-dollar question: do I look different, slimmer or have more muscle bulk? Honestly.... I think I look pretty much the same as I did last January. My clothing sizes haven't changed. My weight has fluctuated within the same 5-pound window all year. That said, my body has never been in as great shape as it has been at times this year. Particularly in the spring and summer months. I definitely am stronger than I was last December, even if my core is a little wimpy at present.

And here's the real triumph: I have never felt so secure with this body as is as I have this year. And sexy. This body of mine is strong and sexy and I'm so happy to live in it. The time I spend every day doing yoga allows me to witness and appreciate my body, while it also puts me in touch with what my body needs and what it likes to keep it healthy and happy. Even when my muscles burn like crazy from holding a challenging pose, yoga feels like the most incredible gift to my body.

Maybe I do look different. Maybe I do stand taller. Maybe the incredible confidence and respect I've developed for my body on the inside has transformed how I appear on the outside, in ways that have nothing to do with slimness, muscle mass, or the number on the scale.

Namaste!

AND we’re under the 30-day mark…

2010-12-07T21:49:00.000-08:00

Actually, we're under the 24-day mark. Or I am. My 360 days of Adho Mukha Svanasana is officially winding down. Today marks my 336 straight day of yoga practice. The end of the tunnel is in sight, though honestly, this journey has never felt anything like an endless tunnel. Predictably, the first month was the hardest, because it takes time to adjust to a new daily time commitment. Now, it is so automatic and normal, that I’m almost scared to go that minimum 30 minutes of yoga a day.

When I took on this challenge in January, I had a big list of questions about what I might experience by doing yoga every day. Over the next three+ weeks, I want to revisit some of those questions here in the bloggity-blog. You can read my initial two blog posts with ALL of those questions here and here. One caveat: it is impossible to know how much of any change I’ve undergone in the last 336 days has been a result specifically of doing yoga—in many cases, yoga is one of many things that may have facilitated a change. The best way to test daily yoga’s effect on me would be to stop doing yoga every day, and even then, NOT doing yoga would likely be one of many things that might facilitate a change. Still, I want to try to answer my questions to gauge the impact of this year-long experience! So let’s get started with the mother of all questions:

After a year of daily yoga practice, will I feel happier? More balanced and patient? Calmer? Less anxious?

Wow. This is really hard to answer. See, when I began this process, I had already begun a kind of remarkable transformation in terms of my mental health. Seriously, if you were to turn back the clock and look at me not 360 days, but 720 days ago, you would think you were looking at my twin sister: my totally depressed, anxious, high-strung, impatient twin sister. My Debbie Downer twin could not have committed to practicing yoga every single day, no matter how much she already loved yoga and how often she did yoga.

So, in the year leading up to beginning my yoga 360, I made a lot of tough, painful decisions, took some big risks, and began to change my life on many, many fronts. It was a really hard year, but I got through it and came out a much stronger, smarter, healthier person.

When 2010 began, I had only recently begun to feel like I was standing on solid ground, or rather like I could keep my footing on the ever-shifting ground below me. I was feeling happier than I had in a really long time. I felt only a shadow of the perpetual anxiety that had been clouding my thoughts and actions for the majority of my adult life. I was just getting the idea of what a balanced life might feel like, that it was something I could actually have, that it was something I wanted. Basically, I was finally in a place where I felt capable of truly committing to something long term; thus began my year of yoga.

I don’t know if doing yoga every day has made me any happier than I was last December. But it definitely has not made me LESS happy. Yes, I’ve had days this year when I’ve felt like nothing good would ever happen to me again, days when I’ve felt like anxiety was ripping me up inside. But I’ve also had days this year when I’ve felt unadulterated joy and satisfaction that I’m alive, days when my mind can’t recall what it is to worry about something. On most days of this past year, though, I haven’t been extremely sad or happy, but fine, okay-to-good, more or less satisfied. I think this is what it looks like to have a balanced life.

I absolutely believe that my yoga has helped me sustain this balance in my life. If I come to my mat in a ridiculously giddy mood, I generally find myself settling down over the course of my practice, reigning in my happiness a bit so that I may maintain it longer, and so that it isn’t such a shock to my system when something undesirable happens. Likewise, if I come to my mat in a real foul mood, my practice helps redirect my focus: things might suck, but at that moment, I’m paying attention to my balance. The brief reprieve from my troubles that yoga’s temporary shift in focus provides always leaves me calmer and better prepared to face what ever has my panties in a bunch. Yoga evens my keel when I’m tipping too much to one side of the other. Most days, my practice mirrors and affirms my fine, more-or-less satisfied mental space, like breathing or blinking. It is a part of what keeps me regular.

So whether or not daily yoga this year has made me MORE anything, it definitely was involved in helping me STAY happy, calm, patient, and balanced.

* * *

Minutes for the accountability police. Yes, practiced every day. Here's the rough round up:

11/8-11/14: 305

11/15-11/21: 315

11/22-11/28: 235

11/29-12/7: 285

Namaste!

My Brain on Yoga: a Flash Yoga Blog!

2010-11-15T20:35:00.000-08:00

This blog is a flash yoga blog. No, this isn't like a "flash mob" (though that would be RAD). This is more in the spirit of flash fiction. As Wikipedia puts it, "Flash fiction is a style of fictional literature or fiction of extreme brevity. ... Some self-described markets for flash fiction impose caps as low as 300 words." So that means: I am going to write this blog like a flash in a pan, or quick as a flash, typing anything that comes to mind, in a short 20-minute frame of time, and not exceeding 300 words in count.

Oh and also, I will be including some flash yoga-photos from my practice today, for comical relief.

My Brain On Yoga, the Home Practice Edition:

Sit still. Breathe. Stop thinking about your breath so much and breathe normally. Right, like that. Am I sitting upright? Slouching? Lean back. Breathe normally. Quiet the mind. How do you quiet the mind? I have no idea. Breathe.

Okay.... It's been a few minutes, right? Time to put the hands in front of the chest in Namaste. "OOOOOOHHHHHHHH- cough-{oops, too low}...uh, MMMMMMMMMMMM."

"OOOOOHHHHH{too high??}HHHHMMMMMM."

"OOOOOHHHHHHHHMMMMMM." Perfect.

Let's get my Sanskrit chanting on! Wow, wrong key. I'm not sounding so musical today. Why do I put a French accent on everything? Was that the second time through the invocation, or third? I can just do two, right? What should my intention for my practice be today? Something about being kind to oneself, not judging too harsh. That sounds good.

Cat, cow, cat, cow, cat, cow. I could cat and cow all day, it feels so good. Until it gets boring.

Dog! Walking, walking.... Full dog. Bend the knees, draw the groin muscles back, rotate the thighs in and back, don't lock the elbows, push through the pads of the fingers, pull the shoulders into the back.... Broaden the kidney area on your back, tuck the tailbone. Don't forget your core. Core, ha! What core?!

Plank. God, I love plank. My arms are so strong. Heels over my toes, rotate inner thighs in and up, soften the heart a little. Don't forget the core! God, I hate plank.... Now for some obligatory Chaturanga Dandasana torture and cobra. LOVE LOVE LOVE me that cobra. But don't forget your core!

Step to Uttanasana. HELLO, hamstrings. Release the head. Rotate--wait, I said, RELEASE THE HEAD. Okay. Now, rotate the thighs in and back, tuck the tailbone a little, bend from the hip folds, go a little deeper. AHHHH. Let's stand up and stretch the arms over head. Core!!! Overdoing the backbend there, back off! Am I jutting my chest out? Don't do that, silly; there's no one's looking. Hmmmm, what to do next?

Dog. Three-legged dog. Right leg forward in a lunge. High lunge. Don't let the right knee extend over the right ankle, keep the inner thigh lifted, hips even. Get that right hip in and that right buttock tucked under. Don't forget your core! Bend deeper? Not happening. Right hip, why do you continue to torment me? Tight, tight, mean right hip. Jump Switch! Ha ha ha--yeah, in my dreams! Step switch. Rinse and repeat on the left.

Balance poses! Grounding the corners of my left foot. Right foot up carefully...carefully! Right foot to left calf, rotate in the right hip socket for easy tree pose. Keep that left leg strong, four corners of the foot, FOUR corners, not two, wavering, wavering.... Okay. Got it now. Square, stupid hips, get square! Core, do not, I say, DO NOT forget the core! Imagine a string of thread on the inside of your belly button pulling it to the spine and then up just a little bit. Tuck the tailbone. Oh, arms! Up, up, up. Ack! Core! Core! For the love of Patanjali, CORE!!! Wavering, wavering! Mayday! And touchdown. Switch!

I should do some core strengthening... WAH HA HA HA HA!!!

Savasana time. Relax.... Let the mind release any thoughts.... Damn, my nose itches. Ignore it. Ignore it. How long have I been lying here already?

"OOOOHHHHHHMMMMM." Crud. What was my intention? Oh well....

"Namaste!"

And now for that picture fun... Adventures in Utthita Hasta Padangustasana (Extended Hand-To-Big-Toe Pose) and Ardha Chandrasana (Half Moon Pose). These are constant challenge poses for me, so know that I AM making mistakes and struggling and that you should not aspire to look like me!

Wobbling.

As straight as my leg goes.

Salute the Nikon judge!

Really don't have it!

Better....

Head turned up, and OMG! Balanced! Hooray!

Being present

2010-11-08T21:31:00.000-08:00

Blog? What blog?

Hmmm… It seems to me that, while I’ve been AWESOME at doing yoga for 30 minutes every day for 306 straight days now, my parallel goal to blog regularly and track my yoga minutes ever 10-14 days has totally gone down the toilet. Oops. I think I psyche myself out a bit with the blog. See, I have all sorts of blog ideas, but I want them to be so dang good. Like, really spectacular investigative yoga blogging. That kind of thoughtful and thought-provoking work, it takes more than 30 minutes to write. And I’ve been rather busy writing some earth-shattering copy about memory foam and weather stations and sewing machines during the last month or two. Ah, excuses, excuses!

Besides, since the wrist injury in August, I’ve gotten out of the habit of writing down exactly how many minutes I’ve spent doing yoga every day on my calendar. Believe me; I’ve done it every darn day. I’ve just been lazy about documentation. But I’m going to try to do some weekly guesstimates below, in the interest of being able to roughly estimate the total amount of time I spent doing yoga this year come New Years Day.

9/5-11: 230 minutes 10/10-16: 275 minutes

9/12-18: 310 minutes 10/17-23: 345 minutes

9/19-25: 220 minutes 10/24-31: 275 minutes

9/26-10/2: 340 minutes 11/1-7: 230 minutes

10/3-9: 340 minutes

Notable practices in the last two months:

My first class post wrist injury on 9/12, taught by my lovely friend Megan, and captured on video tape to complete her yoga teacher training program. Yay, Megan!
Yoga on the road, part one, September 22-27. I did yoga in my lovely childhood friend Jamie’s yard in the Astoria hood of Queens, NY for three days. Then I practiced for three days in Chappaqua, NY, at the home of my brother and sister-in-law, in the room that has since then become 26-days-old niece and nephew!
My first handstand post wrist injury, on September 29. I love them so.
Yoga on the road, part two, October 16-17. I did yoga at my old college pal Liz’s apartment in Portland, which rivals mine in tiny-ness. There’s nothing like practicing with a hangover…

Cat and Cow--yoga cures for over-imbibing...

* * * *

Then there was my practice yesterday morning, my Daylight Savings Time “Fall Back” practice.

Now, over the past ten months, my home practice has become very comfortable, very routine, and sometimes very boring. I admit, since my injury in August, my daily practices at home rarely exceed 31-35 minutes. When I couldn’t do any weight-bearing on my wrist, it was hard to drum up more than 30 minutes of poses and I’d check the clock constantly to find out how much more yoga I had to do. I didn’t feel like doing yoga daily was a burden, but I definitely had negative feelings about my limitations and the amount of time I’d committed to practicing daily. I could have embraced the injury as a golden opportunity to meditate more or to cultivate my pranayama practice. But I have a tendency to let my restless energy dictate. I’m not going to condemn myself for that—I am what I am.

However, as I healed and my home practice started filling up with downward dog, plank, handstand, and headstand and all those other weight-bearing hand/arm poses again, my clock-watching habit didn’t abate. I’ve become a pro of the 31-minute yoga practice, barely lying dormant in Savasana for 30 seconds before jumping up off the mat with a quick “Namaste,” eager to go about my day. In some ways, I feel like my home yoga practice in the last several months has more in common with my showers than my experiences in yoga classes: not a burden, but a necessary part of my day; sometimes luxurious, but generally not; routine.

So yesterday, with the help DST and that extra hour in the day, my morning felt so much more spacious than usual. And that spacious feeling carried over to my yoga practice. I was doing yoga “earlier” than I usually do on a Sunday morning, because I woke up “earlier” than usual. I felt the freedom to linger in forward bends longer, to hold stretches and poses longer, to play with different poses than usual, to practice pranayama even. I was engaging with my yoga with more intention and intimacy than I have in my home practice since before Labor Day. It was an incredibly refreshing home practice—sublime.

In the Anusara yoga classes I attend, after we chant Om three times and the Anusara invocation in Sanskrit, the teacher always asks us to bow our heads towards our hearts and to set an intention for our practice before we release our hands, open our eyes, and start moving. The intentions that I set in this pause are always attuned to my current physical, emotional, and spiritual status and needs. If my heart is feeling tender, I set an intention to be gentle and patient with myself and to approach poses from a place of openness, without self criticism, and with no expectations except that I attempt poses to the best of my ability in that moment of that day. If my heart is feeling joyous, my intention may be to express that feeling in my practice, to see how far my limbs can expand, to push the edge just a little bit further.

I googled "Be Present" and got Ernest Hemingway kicking a can.

I would like to set an intention for my home practice in the next 54 days. Each time I step onto my mat, I will take the time to tune into where my body, mind, and heart are, how they are doing and what they need from yoga that day—set a daily intention, just like in class. Then I will actively focus in my practice on meeting that intention and filling those needs, abandoning distracting thoughts about my schedule, work, food, and relationships until I am off the mat. Lastly, I will move the clock so it is out of my line of sight on the mat.

I also hereby set an intention to blog more as I head into the last stretch of this journey!

Namaste!

Yes, but can you do that with just one hand?

2010-09-08T21:19:00.000-07:00

If only I were as tough as you, Jack Palance....

Over a month has passed since my last blog. Not only that, but I haven’t been dutifully writing my minutes down on my calendar. Now don’t panic, I haven’t fallen off my every-day yoga train. The reason I haven’t been writing down my minutes is simple: for the last month or so, I have done yoga for ~30-35 minutes every single day. Even stranger, I have done yoga around the same time in the morning on each of those days.

This degree of regularity in my yoga practice was unheard of in my yoga 360 until a month ago. For the first seven months of this project, I've been consistent in practicing yoga every day, but I sure as hell haven’t been consistent in how much (other than meeting my imposed 30-minute daily minimum) or when I practice. So what happened to make my yoga practice so dang routine?

I got hurt.

Really, that’s the reason behind my incredible regular practice. That’s what it took to turn my daily yoga practice into something as automatic and predictable in my day as getting out of bed.

Now, this isn’t the first time this year I’ve had to work with an injury. But this time I hurt my wrist. My right wrist. I hurt it after a long day of digging. That night, I ached all over, but especially about 2 inches up from my wrist on my forearm. When I did yoga as usual the next day, it wasn’t too uncomfortable. But opening jars, washing dishes, using my car’s stick shift, washing my hair, writing, fastening and unfastening my bra and pants, and about a hundred other things...now those things were SERIOUSLY uncomfortable!


I would be holding the baby in this picture, if it didn't make my wrist cry...

“Well, it isn’t broken,” the doctor said when I went in to have my wrist checked out. “It’s tendinitis of the wrist flexors.” He strapped a big black Velcro brace on me, told me to take 4 ibuprofen 3 times a day, ice my wrist for 15 minutes three times a day, and to rest it. He told me it could take 2 to 4 weeks for my wrist to heal. “But I do yoga every day,” I told him. “Can I at least do downward-facing dog and plank on my forearms?” To which he gave me a curt "No.”

No swimming either?!!! Bending the rules with a Cookie Monster water wing.

And thus came the end of my quest towards 360 days of Adho Mukha Svanasana (that’s Dog pose, yo). But not my quest towards 360 days of yoga! When I began this project, I anticipated that I might get hurt and I committed to adapting as necessary to continue my yoga practice. So when I hurt my wrist, I started adapting.

Tendinitis can't keep me from climbing a mountain, with MY EYES CLOSED!

I couldn’t go to any classes as almost every single yoga class I’ve ever been to has heavily featured downward-facing dog. Dog is like the complex carbohydrates of a yoga class—substantial and unavoidable in the yoga studio. But it is possible to omit it from one’s home practice, and all other poses that require any sort of weight bearing on the wrists. So that’s what I did. No dog, no plank, no cobra, no handstand, no wheel, no crow, no cat and no cow, no, no, and no. I also had be careful and make modifications in other poses like triangle or side-angle pose to make sure I didn’t put much weight on my right hand/arm.

After eliminating those poses from my asana practice, I was left with a lot of standing and balance poses, seated twists, and stretches on my back. Honestly, during that first week, I found it a little difficult to fill up more than 30 minutes with this limited catalog of poses, which explains my string of 30-to-35-minute-long practices. I also struggled with boredom; I really missed having all those other poses to toss into my daily mix. My typical yoga practice does have a degree of order to it, poses I generally do before certain other poses, but there is still a lot of flexibility. But with my wrist's limitations, I found I did the same poses in more or less the same order (vinyasa) every day. (Please note that while this is unusual for ME, there are many types of yoga, like Ashtanga, in which one always does the same vinyasa sequence, no matter the class, the instructor, etc.) Maybe this order to my asanas is behind the development of a regular practice time of day in my yoga life; does one routine begets another routine?

I didn’t anticipate a painful wrist injury to bring such stability to my yoga life. It has been interesting to observe how I’ve responded to a more structured, albeit limited, practice this month. I’ve enjoyed the additional structure to my day for the most part. But I really miss classes—sharing the time with other yogis and yoginis, holding poses longer, and being led through different poses I’m not so familiar or comfortable with, etc.

While my wrist is still weak, I’m virtually pain-free and only wearing the brace when I’m doing yoga. I added dog and plank on my forearms back into my repertoire about ten days ago. In the last few days, I’ve started pushing into full downward-facing dog. I often wonder if I’m capable of doing more than I’m allowing myself in my practice. Could I be doing handstand without any issues right now? But I think there is wisdom in showing restraint, recognizing that I may be more limited from the injury than I notice. I’m trying to look beyond that 35 minutes on the mat and think about the rest of the month, next month, and beyond!

Namaste!

A Funny Thing Happened when I blogged about not blogging....

2010-08-07T23:19:00.000-07:00

I expounded so much on one of my coulda-blogged ideas that it became a real, genuine blog post! I was writing about Judith Hanson Lasater's Letter to the Editor in Yoga Journal. Let's flashback to that post....

The latest copy of Yoga Journal (YJ) is noteworthy for a few reasons. It's the 35th anniversary issue of the magazine. There's a time line of the last 6000 years of yoga history outlined inside. Sarah McLachlan is on the cover in Utthita Hasta Padangusthasana. And, in the "Letters to the Editor" section, there's a letter from Judith Hanson Lasater (one of YJ's founders and a frequent contributor) expressing her concern about the advertisements featuring naked or half-naked women that have popped up with more frequency in YJ (check out Toesox ads if you want to see what the fuss is about).

Lasater writes, "These pictures do not teach the viewer about yoga practice or themselves. They aren’t even about the celebration of the beauty of the human body or the beauty of the poses, which I support. These ads are just about selling a product." She goes on to request that YJ stop running ads that exploit the sexuality of young women to sell ad space or magazines. (You can read more from her letter here.) As someone who considers herself a feminist and who would NEVER attend a naked yoga class, let me just say, "RIGHT ON, SISTER!"

Nude Toesox model Kathryn Budig, in clothes!

AND then, I kept blogging:

So while looking to see if YJ had a link to this letter online (can't find one if they do), I came across this 35th Anniversary Cover Gallery, where one can look at every cover of YJ over the last 35 years and vote for best covers in four categories. I started perusing, thinking about the human form, particularly under-dressed (or revealingly dressed) young women. And I noticed some things.

OMG, LOOK AT HER BACK FAT!

First, before 1999, YJ didn't always feature a slender, spandex-wearing woman between the ages of 20 and 40 wearing in asana; illustrations and portraits of yoga teachers, noted psychologists and physicians, and spiritual teachers were just as, if not more, often featured on YJ's covers.
Second, I don't think YJ has ever featured an overweight, heavy-set individual in asana on the cover (though the Hammer-style pants that the gal on the July 1983 cover did make me stop to pause). In fact, there aren't any pictures of pregnant women on any of the covers, which I was sort of shocked by, given the amount of special "health" issues (cancer, AIDS, depression) and "family" issues (midwives, spiritual parenting, masculinity and fatherhood).
Third, the last male shown actually practicing yoga asanas on the YJ cover was on the April 2003 cover.
Lastly, I noticed that that the last (& maybe only) person with visibly white hair featured actually practicing asana on the YJ cover was John Friend on the December 2002 cover.

You can draw your own conclusions about all that, but me? It upsets me. When I go to yoga class, yes, there are a good number of slim, younger women wearing tights and short tops. But there are also PLENTY of slim, older women in their 40s, 50s, 60s and up, with white hair galore. And there are certainly men, slim and young, slim and old (though the female to male ratio is still like 6:1). There are also women and men with big asses, thunder thighs, love handles, arm flab, and beer bellies. Plenty of that stuff on practitioners of all ages.

I just want to say that, although the asana practice of yoga IS hard and while many people who practice regularly do have awesome bodies, yoga is accessible for bodies of all shapes and sizes and ages; even the slimmest, prettiest young thing in class has her limitations, poses she can't do because her hamstrings are too tight or she has limited back mobility. There is a yoga class for everyone, even nudists.

Just keep your clothes on around me.

Ta-da! Namaste!

Oh, neglected yoga blog...

2010-08-07T23:16:00.000-07:00

I practice yoga every single day. I also think of something yoga related that I'd like to blog about almost every single day. I blog about yoga every single... month? Getting on the mat may have become pretty dang easy for me, but taking the time to organize my thoughts in Times New Roman on this here blog hasn't become any easier. So I thought I'd use this blog to post my minutes for posterity and, also, to list a few things/ideas I have found interesting re: yoga, but about which I haven't managed to articulate my thoughts in blog form--yet. Form your own thoughts as you may.

First, MIB (Minutes In Brief):
July 7-July14: 90; 90; 35; 40; 40; 90; 35; 90
July 15-July 22: 30; 35; 75; 35; 90; 40; 90; 30
July 23-July 30: 30; 30; 40; 30; 30; 90; 90; 30
July 31-August 7: 35; 35; 90; 35; 90; 30; 45; 30.

Second, BIMBO (Blog Ideas My Brain Overthrew):

#1--Why Can't We Be Friends?

John Friend leads Warrior I; photo by Jon Hyde for The NYT

There has been a lot of hoopla about this NYT article, a profile of John Friend, the creator of Anusara Yoga--which is type of yoga I study. Waylon Lewis of Elephantjournal.com referred to the piece as "the most popular, prominent article re yoga in recent history" and a blogger for Yoga Journal online referred to the profile as "glowing." But the Anusara communities I practice in beg to differ. As does John Friend, who wrote this response to the NYT piece. My Monday night teacher, the fabulous Denise of Seattle Yoga Arts, asked us before class last week if we had any questions regarding the article and all the hoopla; someone asked my Wednesday teacher, the fabulous Wendy of OmTown Yoga, if this means we're all in a cult. Many Anusara yogis and yoginis have voiced outrage per the article's description of Friend as "doughy." Basically, anything I may have wanted to blog about this has been said by someone else, with more passion than I can muster on a hot August day. My favorite response to the NYT-Friend media circus? This satirical piece by Jimmy Gleacher, which examines the many similarities between Friend and Jersey Shore's own media phenomenon, Snooki.


The 4'9" train wreck, ready to snook the night away.

#2--No One Wants To See Your Stretch Marks In Yoga Class.
The latest copy of Yoga Journal (YJ) is noteworthy for a few reasons. It's the 35th anniversary issue of the magazine. There's a time line of the last 6000 years of yoga history outlined inside. Sarah McLachlan is on the cover in Utthita Hasta Padangusthasana. And, in the "Letters to the Editor" section, there's a letter from Judith Hanson Lasater (one of YJ's founders and a frequent contributor) expressing her concern about the advertisements featuring naked or half-naked women that have popped up with more frequency in YJ. Lasater writes, "These pictures do not teach the viewer about yoga practice or themselves. They aren’t even about the celebration of the beauty of the human body or the beauty of the poses, which I support. These ads are just about selling a product." She goes on to request that YJ stop running ads that exploit the sexuality of young women to sell ad space or magazines. (You can read more from her letter here.) As someone who considers herself a feminist and who would NEVER attend a naked yoga class, let me just say, "RIGHT ON, SISTER!"

Dogs always do yoga naked. This pup gets some extra torso extension help from Doga instructor Brenda Byran in Bellevue, WA. This image is inspiration for yet another, never-to-be-written-by-me blog post. Goodness.

#3--Any way you can bend, I can bend better.
Okay, that's not a really appropriate title for this idea. But the other weekend, a friend and I went to my dad's lake cabin for a weekend of sunshine in the woods and water. As my friend practices yoga herself, and I am on this yoga-every-single-day quest, she joined me in practice for two days. And it was really a fun way to practice, as opposed to all by myself or in a class with a ton of people and one teacher. The second day we practiced, we loosely took turns leading each other. One of us would lead through a round of sun salutations, then the other would lead her own variation. Or she'd lead a couple of shoulder stretches and then I'd do a few hamstring/quad stretches. Since I'm too lazy to put together a full blog about the experience, let me just say that it was a new, refreshing way to practice, that I appreciate what I learned from her and her reciprocal enthusiasm to learn from me, and that we had so much fun!

What we saw when we weren't doing yoga...

AND that about wraps up my blog ideas. Something kind of neat happened while I was writing this post.... I wrote another one! So check that one out too! Until then...

Namaste!

The Six Month Post: Completionitis

2010-07-13T16:48:00.000-07:00

"Never confuse a single defeat with a final defeat."
-- F. Scott Fitzgerald

On the 4th of July, I hit the 180-day mark of my 360 days of yoga. That’s six months. I’m over half way there.

I gave my father this little update on the phone the other day. He said to me, “My God, you’re really doing this, aren’t you?” Yes, Dad, I really am. I really am going to see this project through, from start to finish.

In the past few years, I’ve had some issues with completion. Lots of unfinished business. Some people get hung up on starting things. Not me. I start things left and right. I love starting things! The big finish is where I get stuck. Thus, I am a person who habitually:

Cooks an elaborate dinner, leaves dishes piled up in the sink until the next night, or next week.
Mixes up ingredients for homemade ice cream, and passes off the hand-crank ice cream maker to someone else.
Folds laundry and leaves folded clothes in the laundry basket/on the sofa instead of putting them away.
Knits the sleeves, front, and back of a sweater, never sews the pieces together.
Starts writing a story, or a blog, leaves the piece at day’s end, and never returns to it.

I could go on.

FYI: There are an obscene amount of albums called "Unfinished Business."

So when I decided to do 360 straight days of yoga practice, one of my goals was not “to complete something for once in my life.” Yes, my ultimate goal is to complete 360 straight days, but I didn’t think of it as a giant exercise in seeing a project through from start to finish. However, that’s exactly what it is.

With this goal of completion, there is a danger of looking at this year in terms of success and failure. This way of thinking doesn’t fit with yoga at all. When Patanjali uses the word “yoga” in his Yoga Sutras, it means “a state of wholeness” as well as the different practices (postures, pranayama, etc.) associated with this state. Should I step onto the mat everyday with the idea in my head that, “I have to do yoga today so I don’t fail,” I would be approaching my practice from a limited outlook. Yoga would become a chore (which I’ve discussed before), and I would be practicing with an ugly sense of obligation, with a fear of failure, and from a place of self-judgment. I would not be in a state of wholeness; I would not be open to whatever experiences might unfold while on the mat; and it wouldn’t be fun at all! As long as I upheld this outlook, even if I “succeeded” in practicing every single day, my yoga 360 would still be a failure.

In her book, Living Your Yoga, Judith Lasater says, “The only real success in life is living with an open, loving heart.” I think that’s true. If I do miss a day of yoga, if I say to myself, “So you missed a day—it’s not worth beating yourself up over and discrediting all the yoga you did before today and all the yoga you’ll do after today,” then that, frankly, is a tremendous success.

Don’t get me wrong: I fully intend to keep doing yoga every single day until New Year’s. I intend to complete this thing. And it is a gigantic exercise in seeing a project through from start to finish. But it isn’t a gigantic exercise in NOT FAILING to see a project through from start to finish. It is a gigantic exercise in dedication and commitment. I am dedicated and committed to seeing this year through from start to finish, and more importantly, I am dedicated and committed to living with an open, loving heart—today, next month, come January 2011, come January 2021, and so on.

That's right, I'm the bacon.

Namaste!

For the record

2010-07-06T13:09:00.000-07:00

Two of my obsessions, together at last...

I'm about to write a longer post, but first, thought I'd post my minutes for June 21st through July 6th:
June 21: 90 mins
June 22: 30 mins
June 23: 90 mins
June 24: 30 mins
June 25: 35 mins
June 26: 45 mins*
June 27: 35 mins
June 28: 35 mins
June 29: 30 mins
June 30: 90 mins
July 1: 90 mins
July 2: 30 mins
July 3: 30 mins
July 4: 35 mins**
July 5: 90 mins
July 6: 34 mins

* Not only did I do 45 minutes of yoga on this day, but I also ran 13.1 miles. And lived to tell about it.
** This day marks the 180th straight day that I've done yoga for at least 30 minutes and assumed Adho Mukha Svanasana. Blog about this to follow soon...

Namaste!

Because I haven't posted my yoga minutes since Mother's Day...

2010-06-20T16:11:00.000-07:00

I'll post them now, really quick, on Father's day...

May 10-16: 90; 35; 90; 30; 30; 30; 30 minutes

May 17-34: 90; 30; 90; 90; 30; 35; 30 minutes

May 24-31: 35; 30; 90; 35; 45; 30; 40; 90 minutes

June 1-6: 30; 90; 90; 40; 75; 40 minutes

June 7-13: 90; 40; 90; 75; 30; 30; 35 minutes

June 14-20: 90; 30; 35; 90; 30; 35; 30 minutes

I just did a Google image search for the words: father daughter yoga. I kind of expected a lot of creepy pictures to pop up, but hardly any images that really applied to my search popped up. For some reason, a lot of pictures of Tom Cruise holding his daughter Suri came up. No, not in any yoga pose, just walking down the street and carrying the kiddo. Also, Hugh Jackman and Ben Affleck carrying their children down the street. I don't understand!!! Anyway, here is the only pictures I found of fathers and daughters actually doing yoga:

Hold me closer, daddy Dancer

Anyway, then I did just a regular Google search with these same words, and this kids' book, by Bikram founder Baron Baptiste, turned up. Super cute for all of you raising little yogis and yoginis!

A few years ago, I bought my father a yoga for golfers DVD, with yoga sequences to help prevent common golf injuries, like throwing one's back out again. I don't know if my father ever tried the DVD; it is okay if my father has no interest in becoming a pretzel. I just feel lucky to have a father who respects my yoga practice and who listens (or pretends to listen) to me prattle on about yoga on the phone regularly. Namaste, Daddy!

On Michael J. Fox and my groin

2010-06-02T17:56:00.000-07:00

“The thing about, that I’m always trying to explain to people - because so much of the time, actually, my pills are working and I’m feeling great. And people say, you look so good and you look so smooth, and I have to remind them and myself that when I am smooth and I am - the medication is working, that’s not my natural state.
“My natural state is one that’s affected by the shortage of dopamine production in my brain. So my natural state is to be halting and at times tremulous and kind of just physically disturbed. I mean, that’s my natural state, given the situation in my brain. But I’m always as happy either way.”
-Actor Michael J. Fox

The above quote comes from an interview on NPR’s Weekend Edition with Scott Simon. The interview aired in mid-April, on a gusty, rainy Saturday morning in Seattle. I was eating a light breakfast before a mid-morning yoga class, and I was feeling a little blue. Then the interview came on the radio.

There is only so much that a transcript can communicate. In the interview, just prior to saying the above words, Fox admitted that he was waiting for a pill to kick. The interview transcript records this. What the transcript doesn’t convey is that as Fox spoke about the natural state of his brain, his speech was afflicted by the very same halting and tremulous qualities of which he was speaking. His natural state—that of a man with Parkinson’s disease—was exposed.

Rather than stop the interview until the pill kicked in, Fox chose to continue in spite of the wavering and breaking that riddled his speech. He chose to acknowledge his natural state, even going as far as to direct the listener’s attention to it. He fully accepted himself and the limitations of his body in this moment. It was beautiful and moving to hear. Maybe it was my mood, the weather, or low blood sugar, but by the end of the interview, I was all teary eyed.

In this modern age of antidepressants, energy drinks, Viagra, and Botox, it is pretty easy to escape the limitations of one’s natural state. If I’m naturally inclined to snore, I can get some Breathe Right nasal strips to sleep more quietly. If my all-natural body only fills up an A cup and I want more, I can get breast implants. I can swallow three or four ibuprofen tablets to keep my muscles from aching after a run, and I can take an Imitrex to get over a migraine NOW instead of waiting it out. There are pills out there for just about anything to enable us transcend our natural states.

This athlete's natural state doesn't take kindly to Hanumanasana.

I don’t necessarily think there is anything wrong with taking pills or undergoing procedures, etc., that alter one’s natural state, especially when one’s natural state causes pain. I have a strained groin muscle right now—not only does it cause me physical pain, but it is causing me some emotional pain too. I can’t enjoy the mood-elevating effects of running because I can’t run; I’m stressed out about how the injury is messing up my half marathon training; and I’m worried I won’t be able to participate in a race for which I’ve put a lot of time, sweat, and heart. Of course, I’m taking ibuprofen and icing and heating and massaging and doing yoga poses that gently stretch the groin muscles! I do not like my body’s natural state of achy groin at all. I want to beat it.

Even with all this ibuprofen and Arnica and Icy Hot treatments and slowly and carefully sitting in Baddha Konasana, I may not be able to beat my achy groin before the race. My natural state may very well continue to be achy groin for the next twenty-four days. Maybe longer. It would probably behoove me to regard my natural achy groin state in a kinder light. If I accept the limitations of my body, then perhaps I won’t start crying tears of frustration every time I set out on a run and discover that my groin still feels too much pain to proceed. I suspect that if I cultivate even the smallest amount of acceptance for myself in this injured state, I’m likely to be happier with myself. I don’t mean to say that by accepting the injury that I won’t continue to down Advil and strap on ice packs—but I find ways to work with it instead of fighting against it. Sometimes acknowledging one’s limitations can pave the way to new and better means to success.

Hmm, I didn’t really plan to go on and on about my groin pull in this post. So many other situations and moments I’ve experienced lately have made me think about Fox’s interview—situations that pertained more to my yoga practice and were likely more profound. Still, my frustration with my groin pain has been acute lately and I thought I needed to work with the problem in my yoga practice OFF the mat as well as on the mat. I suspect I may write again about Fox’s interview and these questions: What is my natural state and how can I embrace it? Until then,

May we all learn to accept our imperfections while continuing to aim high with the grace of Michael J. Fox.

Relax, Marty. It's just a groin pull...

Namaste!

Holy Tired, Batman!

2010-05-10T10:33:00.000-07:00

I'm working on a longer post about the body's natural state, but it isn't ready (not sure if I mean my body or the post here....). I don't expect to finish that blog today as the natural state of my mind presently is similar to tapioca pudding. My body and brain are TIRED. It was such a beautiful weekend here in Seattle, and I did my best to soak it up. I went to a yoga class with a new instructor who was so refreshing and just great; I got tomato plants and put them in pots; I planted carrots, beets, beans, kale, Brussels sprouts, and cilantro; I took myself on a 7-mile run (and oh, it was long); volunteered at the Ruby Room; took a day trip to Bainbridge Island; and ate a lot of ice cream. And woke up totally exhausted to start my Monday! So while I try to finish this blog on the body's natural state in my body's sluggish state, I figured for the time being, I'd post my yoga minutes!

FYI, I hit the 1/3 mark of my 360 days of yoga this past Wednesday--120 straight days of yoga. You don't have to be impressed with me, because I'm plenty impressed with myself. Woot!

April 27: 30 mins
April 28: 90 mins
April 29: 35 mins
April 30: 30 mins
May 1: 40 mins
May 2: 30 mins
May 3: 90 mins
May 4: 30 mins
May 5 (120th day!): 90 mins
May 6: 90 mins
May 7: 35 mins
May 8: 80 mins
May 9: 30 mins

And now, here is a little yoga humor, compliments of the lovely octogenarian and comedienne, Betty White, and the folks at Saturday Night Live. This skit was cut from the Mother's Day broadcast, but IMO, it is a lot funnier than that Latino dancing talk show skit. I don't know if Betty White does asana practice or not, but if I can only dream of being so sharp, healthy, funny, and beautiful at 88 years old! Apologies for Hulu's ads in advance. Enjoy and Namaste!

On teachers...

2010-04-27T19:37:00.000-07:00

So, I'm going to BEGIN this post with my Yoga Minutes, for days 100-112! Note my minutes over the first 7 days in particular:

Grab-ass=not a helpful teaching technique...

4/14: 90 min

4/15: 75 min
4/16: 60 min

4/17: 90 min

4/18: 30 min

4/19: 90 min

4/20: 30 min

4/21: 90 min

4/22: 35 min

4/23: 90 min

4/24: 30 min

4/25: 30 min

4/26: 35 min

So note that on 5 of those first 7 days I did 60 or more minutes of yoga. Does Jess have a life, you may wonder. Amazingly, I do, but that's not my point. What this indicates it that I went to a yoga class on each of those 5 days. Here's what the numbers don't show: I went to 5 different teachers' classes on those 5 days.

Yes, this is a lot of yoga, but that's nothing new. But I don't think I've ever taken classes with so many different yoga teachers in one week before. Now I take regular, weekly classes with two different teachers (Denise and Wendy) with the occasional Thursday AM with Rainey or Thursday PM with Meg tossed in for good measure. These are all Anusara yoga teachers and they often take classes from one another, or teach together--frequently, in one week, Denise, Wendy, and Rainey all will give a lot of attention to the relationship between the pelvic loop and the kidney loop (I could explain these. Really. But I'm not going to, except to say that they have to do with alignment), but each teacher approaches the loops with different suggestions and uses different poses in which to apply the techniques. Sometimes, I wish they didn't draw so much inspiration from this tight Anusara yoga community, but generally, I find that the subtle differences in their approach enriches my understanding of the principals being taught. Generally, I like the crisscross a lot.

Likewise, it is often refreshing to go to a class outside of the Anusara tradition just to remind me of how many different styles of yoga there are, how practicing in a quick-paced flow class feels versus Anusara's slower pace (which does not equate to "easier," FYI), how each style/school of yoga emphasizes slightly different elements/principals, and how each requires a different kind of attention and care while practicing. I learn a lot every time I practice yoga somewhere new with someone new.

But doesn't taking yoga classes at all these different places suck up a lot of money? And really, after doing yoga for over a decade, do I really need that much instruction? An article that ran in the New York Times this past weekend addressed questions such as these. I'll let you peruse the article if you desire, but here's the gist:

The article is about this yoga studio chain called Yoga to the People and its founder, Greg Gumucio. The studio's mission statement/manifesto on their website proclaims, "There will be no correct clothes, There will be no proper payment, There will be no right answers ... No ego no script no pedestals." The NYT article continues that there also are "no “glorified” teachers or star yogis. You can’t even find out who is teaching which class when, or reserve a spot with a specific instructor." (itals. mine)

The seed for Gumucio's studios was first planted when he was studying with Bikram Choudhury, who advised him to take everyone's classes and report back to him. Gumucio did so and was frustrated by one particular teacher. Back to the NYT: "Mr. Choudhury was not sympathetic. Just the opposite, telling Mr. Gumucio to, in essence, suck it up and go back to the class — that the problem wasn’t with the instructor, but with Mr. Gumucio himself. “You are your own teacher,” Mr. Gumucio said he was told. “You are responsible for your own experience.”" (itals. mine)

I both respect and cringe at Gumucio's yoga philosophy. I really like the no egos, no correct clothes, no proper payment attitude, because those are all things that keep people away from yoga who might really benefit from it and ultimately enjoy it. I know I get a little nauseated by yoga show-offs who occasionally come to one of the classes I regularly attend, and proceed to do insane poses with their body that aren't remotely like the poses the rest of us are doing, and of course they're wearing hipster yoga togs and are ripped like He-Man. And I've put off buying a new yoga mat for 4-6 months now because they are ridiculously expensive. I spend a TON of money on yoga classes--I don't know exactly how much, but it's definitely a four-figure amount. I love the idea of yoga for all.

I also agree that you are your own teacher. If something feels good to me, I'm sorry, but no teacher in the world can tell me that it doesn't. Or if something hurts me. I learn a great deal from my body every time I hit the mat. I don't go to the mat and assume I know what I can and can not do that day. I have to spend time figuring my body out, like the Sudoku puzzle in the daily newspaper. What's tight today, how tired am I, what does my body tell me now and what will it tell me in 10 minutes? What challenges are reasonable to take on--which ones might I rock and which ones might be a little disastrous? If I move in this way, I can bend more that way, but am I strong enough in that place to prevent strain in that spot?

If I listen to my body now, will I be able to do this at her age???

So, with all that I learn from my body, do I need to go to these classes? I guess I don't NEED to, but I feel that I learn more from myself due to how much I learn from my teachers. Does it have to be Wendy, Denise, and those specific teachers? I guess not, but they are really good teachers, which means I learn more from them, giving me more to build on at home, so that I can learn more from myself too.

These thoughts are in regards to where I am with my practice now, however. This is very important to recognize and consider. It took me years to build the understanding of my body that I have now. I could not always tell when something hurt because my muscles were burning in a "good" way, and when something hurt because my body was bending beyond the point of safety and into the zone where muscles get torn and joints dislocated. I didn't understand how to harmonize my muscles, joints, and bones to bend deeper, or anything about muscle energy and magnetizing my shoulders on my back, etc. I had to learn the general guidelines and limitations of a reasonably fit human being's body, and I had to learn how to do all those poses, and do them correctly!

My teachers were invaluable at that point in my practice. I am so thankful to my first "good" yoga teacher, Jeri at the Moscow Yoga Center in Moscow, Idaho. My very first two teachers were not good teachers; honestly, they could have been gymnastics or kickboxing instructors for all I learned about yoga from them. Only after I started studying with Jeri did I really start to understand what yoga was all about, and that I liked it. The right teacher matters a great deal sometimes.

And per "bad teachers," well, they certainly exist. At this point in my practice, if I run into a teacher who is questionable, I have the knowledge to tune him or her out during a class and just follow my inner teacher based upon the wisdom of my body in the moment. I absolutely agree with Choudhury that I am responsible for my own experience in such a situation. I am lucky that my very first teachers were not dangerous in their mediocrity, just not very helpful, and again, I'm so glad I studied with Jeri before I studied with the individual who I refer to as "The Yoga Nazi" because I could recognize that he pushed students in an aggressive way that risked injuries, in addition to just not being very peaceful! I wasn't a great student of myself yet, but I'd learned a lot to know when to be cautious.

In closing, I am thankful to my teachers and I am thankful for my body's wisdom and I am thankful for how my practice at home and my practice in class work in symphony together. When I think of the interplay between the two, I can really understand and appreciate when my different teachers all seem to be teaching the same principal in their separate ways--this is the teacher inside each of them putting their own spin on what they've learned from those who teach them. Just like I do when I come to my mat at home again and again.

Namaste!

Stress and yoga do not mix, yo.

2010-04-14T09:32:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted my daily minutes in quite awhile, so I thought I would take this opportunity to do that, and to share this article that ran in today's paper. The article is about how more people are turning to yoga to help relieve stress. In light of the fact that this Thursday is TAX day, I'm going to recommend an extra dose of yoga for all to relieve the stress of getting those stupid papers filed away with the pesky IRS. A few poses you might try...

Extended Puppy Pose (Uttana Shishosana)

Part Downward-Facing Dog, part Child's Pose--great for wagging your booty in the air and stretching the torso and spine nice and long. I like to do this before running, but it's nice afterwards too. Either way, another perk of the Extended Puppy? Calms the mind!

Plow Pose (Halasana)

According to Yoga Journal, plow pose reduces backaches and helps one get to sleep. Hmm, my back turns into a knot explosion when I'm stressed out... And I sleep like crap too! Solution: Jess will spend more time in plow pose. Besides, I think it feels wunderbar! This picture is of "Supported Plow Pose." For regular old plow, let go of your back and lay your arms on the ground.

Headstand! (Sirsasana)

Standing on your head in perfect alignment calms the brain--it probably has to do with sending all that blood to your head, but maybe it has nothing to do with that at all! One of my teachers, Wendy of Om Town Yoga, told us a story once about this investment manager who had all his best ideas for work while chilling upside down in headstand. There is something definitely about being upside down that makes you just feel more grounded when you return right side up! Do it at a wall, like the ladies above, with padding under your head if you need it.

And of course, how could I forget Savasana?

Corpse Pose, the pose of total relaxation! And dare I say it...the most challenging stress-reducing pose of this littl' bunch? Relaxation is hard work! I recommend that you close your eyes, unlike our model in this photo.

So relax away, yogis and yoginis!

Now here are my yoga minutes, for posterity, from March 19 through April 13. Excuse me if I just type the minute numbers instead of tagging them all with dates. I have a yoga class in a half hour at Om Town!

Rest of March: 60, 40, 30, 90, 35, 90, 90, 33, 30, 35, 30, 35, 90!

April thus far: 30, 35, 35, 30, 90, 35, 90, 30, 30, 40, 35, 90, 30!

And... I'm outta here! Namaste!

90 days, suckers!

2010-04-08T09:11:00.000-07:00

As of Monday night, I have done yoga every single day for 90 days. 90 days of practicing yoga for at least 30 minutes. I’ve done Adho Mukha Svanasana every single day for 90 days. 9-0.

I don’t know if I’ve ever committed myself to practicing anything for 90 straight days before, unless I count the basic actions of being alive (breathing, eating, sleeping) or certain hygiene musts, like brushing my teeth. Commitment is the operative word here; it is entirely possible that I’ve drunk coffee for 90 straight days at some point in my life, but I’ve never made an intentional commitment to do so. Of course, I haven’t committed to practice yoga for 90 straight days—I’ve committed to practice yoga for 360 straight days. The 90-day mark signifies that I’m a quarter of the way to my goal. I’ve still got 270 days of yoga to come.

This got me to thinking about how much time I’m spending on the mat. I’m away from my special yoga minutes tracking calendar right now. But, by looking at the calendar at my office, I can note which days I attended yoga classes versus days when I practiced at home to come up with a rough estimate of the minimum amount of time I’ve spent doing yoga in the last 90 days:

-I’ve attended a yoga class on 35 of the past 90 days, spending ~2760 minutes total in those classes.

-I’ve practiced yoga at home for 55 of the past 90 days for at least 30 minutes each day, so I’ve spent AT LEAST 1650 minutes total practicing at home. (Given how many 45-minute practices I’ve done, I would guess that 2000 minutes would be closer to the truth.)

-So, I’ve spent AT LEAST 4410 minutes practicing yoga in the last 90 days.

Let me attempt to put this into perspective. If I sleep eight hours (480 minutes) a night, I’ve spent over nine days worth of sleep doing yoga. There are 1440 minutes in a day, so I’ve done more than the equivalent of three full days in yoga practice. However, I’m still 5670 minutes shy of a full week’s worth of yoga. If I only do 30 minutes of yoga for the next 270 days, I’ll have spent 12,510 minutes doing yoga by the end of my 360 days on New Years Eve, which is about 8-2/3 days worth. In contrast, if I’ve slept 8 hours every night for the past 90 days and continue to do so for the next 270 days, I’ll end the year with 172,800 minutes of sleep. With 518,400 minutes in a year, 33% of those would be spent asleep compared to a measly 2.4% spent doing yoga.

All these calculations start to make me feel like the 90-day mark is hardly worth patting myself on the back over! Still, it is a significant mile marker in my yoga 360 and I’m proud to have reached it.

For my 90^th day of yoga, I went to my Monday night class with Denise Benitez at Seattle Yoga Arts. I could go on for quite some time, singing the praises of Denise and Seattle Yoga Arts, but I’ll save it for another post. But I will say that for every 8-week session at SYA, Denise chooses a challenge pose for the class to work on. These poses are, indeed, challenging. Luckily, most of the challenge poses have had lots of adaptations with props to accommodate the tight-hamstringed or balance challenged, etc. During this eight-week session, we’re doing an arm balance called Eka Pada Galavasana. It looks like this:

Doesn’t it look impossible?!

I certainly thought so the first time we tried this pose in March. But now, I think that if I continue to practice it, I might actually be able to do it in the foreseeable future. Working on the pose in class and in my home practice, I’ve had some success briefly balancing with my back leg bent in. I need to work on balancing for longer now, and start experimenting with extending that back leg. This will challenge my balance even more, and it will take TONS of core strength. But the possibility of executing this difficult pose is very real.

I don’t know that I would have felt this possibility if we’d pursued this pose last fall. I really feel like that by attempting it on my mat at home, in addition to on Monday nights, I’ve come to view the pose as more accessible. The more I attempt to do something that seems impossible, the less impossible it seems.

This is what I’m taking away from my first 90 days—if I regard something as being very difficult or impossible to do, I can choose to continue to shy away from that challenge (thus it will always be very difficult or impossible) or I can step past my fear of failure and try it, and then try it again. My attempts may result in many failures, but each time I fail, I learn something and eventually, that learning may translate into a success, which feels wonderful! In the next 90 days, I would like to take this understanding beyond the mat and apply it to other daunting challenges in my life—an undertaking which I suspect will make 90 straight days of yoga look like a walk in the park!

Namaste!

Minutes

2010-03-19T08:35:00.000-07:00

I have been remiss in posting. I will post something more thoughtful later, but for now, the minutes:
3/1: 40 mins
3/2: 45 mins
3/3: 90 mins
3/4: 75 mins
3/5: 40 mins
3/6: 30 mins
3/7: 30 mins
3/8: 90 mins
3/9: 30 mins
3/10: 90 mins
3/11: 30 mins
3/12: 45 mins
3/13: 30 mins
3/14: 30 mins
3/15: 90 mins
3/16: 35 mins
3/17: 30 mins
3/18: 75 mins

Whew! Today will be my 73rd straight day of yoga!

Thinking too much about Savasana

2010-03-01T10:51:00.000-08:00

Still doing yoga everyday. I also officially signed up for that half marathon. I ran to my office to drop off rent and back yesterday morning--about 5 miles when I include the wrong turn I took which ended up looping back to the confusing intersection in question. I was TIRED! And I'm only building from there.

In contrast, my yoga practices have been more and more compact lately (aside from when I go to a studio). When I first began my yoga 360, I had a really hard time putting together a home practice on my own that lasted 30 minutes. I did a ton of podcasts at home and sought out classes at studios left and right. For most of February, though, I've mostly sat down on my mat in silence and created a practice of my own. Sometimes, I feel like I am not making myself labor enough or sweat enough. But then again, that isn't the point of this year. It is about seeing how a regular practice, difficult or not, benefits me and what kind of impact it has on how I approach life.

I will say that I don't find it so hard now to fill up 30 minutes of home practice; I could spend half that time in Savasana, but I don't. In fact, I still struggle to stay in Savasana for long enough. What is "long enough?" I read somewhere that a yogi/yogini should reserve at least 1/5 of their practice time for Savasana. For a 30-minute practice, that breaks down to 6 minutes. Now my average home Savasana tends to be about 1/15 or 1/10 of my practice time. Because I know that I have a hard time staying in corpse pose at home, I don't assume that pose until I've been practicing yoga for almost a full half hour. This is a benefit of classes and podcasts, which include a silent break in the recording for Savasana. When I follow a podcast, I stay with the recording through the long pause to the point where the instructor rings a bell or uses a bowl to summon the listener out of rest. Occasionally, I'll set an alarm on my iPhone for Savasana, but this feels like a lot of hassle when I am supposed to be settling into relaxation.

I think my preconceived notions about whether or not I am laboring enough physically in my home practice are at the root of my struggles with abiding in Savasana. I aspire to question the logic behind these judgments as I continue to practice. Even if I don't feel my body has worked hard enough to "earn" the reward of Savasana, my mind certainly deserves some relaxation time. Just look how much overanalyzing it has done in this post!

The author in Adho Mukha Svanasana at home

Not pictured: author's brain in a frenzy over whether camera took the photo or not..

And with that, my minutes for the end of February, Days 47-54:
Feb. 21: 35 minutes
Feb. 22: 90 minutes
Feb. 23: 40 minutes
Feb. 24: 90 minutes
Feb. 25: 75 minutes
Feb 26: 30 minutes
Feb. 27: 40 minutes
Feb. 28: 40 minutes

Namaste!

By the minutes

2010-02-20T16:10:00.000-08:00

I haven't thrown in the towel! But as my minutes show, I am trying to avoid yoga burnout. And there have been a few days when my enthusiasm for the project has been lagging a bit. If anyone wants to take a guest to their yoga studio in the near future, please bring me! I'm in need of a little yoga buddy support.

Perhaps one reason I'm dragging a bit in my yoga is that I've started training to run a half marathon at the end of June. I'm wearing knee braces every time I run and I do think yoga is helping protect my knees too. I had three "no-knee-pain" runs this week: 2-1/4 miles, 3 miles, and 4 miles yesterday (This morning, I woke up muscle ache-free and eager to do my morning yoga--very encouraging all around).

I also have been busy building vegetable growing boxes and in the next few days hope to start some seeds. Beginning a lot of things at once can be tricky. Luckily, I'm over 45 days deep into my 360 of yoga already. However, taking on more activity, while often energizing, can also be overwhelming. Thus, note lots of 30-35 minute practices in the last ~two weeks! My practice has been full of Suryanamaskar A & B. That's Sun Salutations, yo

Commando Duke demonstrates Virabhadrasana I and Suryanamaskar B at this fantastically funny website.

Before the minutes, a question to you: What keeps you energized and motivated when you have a big, and seemingly endless, project at hand? Or want to build an exercise or meditation routine? Or stay on a diet? What has been helpful to you? What hasn't been?

Here we go, Days 35-46:

Feb. 9: 45 minutes

Feb. 10: 90 minutes

Feb. 11: 35 minutes

Feb. 12: 35 minutes

Feb. 13: 40 minutes

Feb. 14: 40 minutes

Feb. 15: 90 minutes

Feb. 16: 35 minutes

Feb. 17: 90 minutes

Feb. 18: 30 minutes

Feb. 19: 35 minutes

Feb. 20: 30 minutes

Namaste!

First month in review

2010-02-09T13:50:00.000-08:00

I am on Day 35 of my 360 days of yoga! That's over a month of daily Downward-Facing Dog, packed full of Sun Salutations, forward bends, back bends, twists, and balance poses. As predicted, I really have done Adho Mukha Svanasana ever single day. Dog is like the oxygen of yoga--I can't seem to do an asana practice without it.

If only I had flippers, my feet would touch the ground!

I was reviewing the list of questions about what effects 360 straight days of yoga practice might have on me from my first blog post. I haven't learned to levitate yet. However, I do think my heels are descending a little closer to the floor in downward dog which means my hamstrings are a little less tight. Perhaps they will hit the floor by the end of December after all... Also, I've finally learned how to do one of those more challenging poses that I never really get enough time to work on in class, Bakasana. Per the superficial, my apartment has been, overall, cleaner and more organized to ensure I have clear space to practice in. I can't say that I'm slimmer or taller, but I can say that my thighs are super muscular these days from all that time in Warrior I and II, Utthitta Parsvakonasana, and Utkatasana. I also have some mean guns--don't mess with this yogini!

As for my mood, mental health, and my outlook of the world, I know that I almost always feel better about myself and the world around me after my yoga practice. This is not to say that a month plus of yoga has eliminated all traces of SAD, reactivity, self judgment, anger, impatience, anxiety, and general discontent from my being. It hasn't and it won't--I am human. But I think that I spend a little less time dwelling in those undesirable places. I do have a case of the mid-winter blahs, as I often do in January and February. But these feelings are more episodic than part of my constant state of mind: a low mood comes and I sit with it for a couple hours or a day before it passes on; another case of the blues might not strike for a couple of weeks. I do think the yoga helps alleviate these less happy moods.

It also seems to me that I have a lower tolerance for criticizing myself--I'm quicker to dispel harsh self-judgments. Likewise, I'm more aware of my criticism of others. Not that I never do it, but I notice when I'm judging others with more frequency and I question whether my judgments are fair or educated, or whether it benefits me or anyone else when I voice these criticisms. Is my critical feedback remotely constructive? What is my intention in voicing such criticism? My mind has not always taken the time to reflect on such questions.

The above are pretty positive results of my daily yoga practice. But I've noticed some other things that I need to be cautious of as I proceed. First, just because I practice everyday does not mean that my body is equally capable in terms of flexibility and strength and endurance from one day to the next. There are days when a certain pose feels so wonderful that my body is content to sink deeper and hold it for a long period of time. The next time I try that same pose, however, it may cause me extreme discomfort or my body may not able to bend as much to assume it. So I absolutely must pay attention to my body's needs and capabilities each time I'm on the mat because if I make assumptions about what my body can do without considering what it wants to do on any given day, I WILL hurt myself eventually.

Second, I need to continue to look out for that whole yoga-as-chore mindset. If this way of thinking becomes too prevalent from day to day, I will eventually fail to step on my mat one day. While I hope that, should I fail to practice yoga one day, I do not demean all my previous effort and practice by dismissing myself and this project as a failure, I really don't want to get to the place where I'm so down on yoga that it feels like a burden more days than not. I mean, I love yoga, and practicing it is so beneficial for me! So if maintaining a positive attitude about daily practice means doing more 30-minute practices than 60-minute practices, doing more Pranayama, and more slow, gentle practices--or even doing two 15-minute practices instead of one 30-minute practice, then I've got to be open to such. I guess this means is I have to be mindful about whether I'm practicing in a way that is headed towards burnout. No burnout!

A note to myself. Cribbed from Mudra Moments

Anyway, I'm burnt out on this blog post about now, so thanks for reading and,

Namaste

Daily yoga numbers for last couple weeks

2010-02-09T13:47:00.000-08:00

For posterity:
January 29: 30 minutes
January 30: 30 minutes
January 31: 45 minutes
February 1: 60 minutes
February 2: 60 minutes
February 3: 60 minutes
February 4: 60 minutes
February 5: 60 minutes
February 6: 35 minutes
February 7: 50 minutes
February 8: 90 minutes

Instead of listing a pose I'm hating on and one I'm loving, I'm choosing a challenge pose for the month, or however long it takes for me to get it. This is a pose that I can not really do right now. It might even be impossible for me. The idea is to try it anyway, to acknowledge that I am attempting something difficult, and to appreciate my effort--regardless of the outcome. So, my challenge pose for now is:

Tittibhasana, or Firefly Pose

Piece of cake! Right... At any rate, this pose should keep me busy for a good long time!

Facing Doggie Down

2010-02-06T11:44:00.001-08:00

I've returned from Mexico with a tan line (twas a burn line... I fear my future includes melanoma) and about five new pounds on my body from margaritas, tortilla chips, and guacamole. While I succumbed to the temptation of tequila and too much avocado--I didn't think that was possible--I did not succumb to the temptation to ditch my daily yoga practice. Yay!

It did take some effort to practice on my trip, particularly on that dreaded travel day last week when I took a 6 AM flight to Houston en route to Cancun. As I mentioned in my last post, I'd loaded up my i-gadget with a couple of chair podcasts from Hillary's Yoga Practice, so during my layover in Houston, I tried to find an empty chair that wasn't too close to anyone else and looked out the window with room to cross my legs and to stretch them out in front of me. Then I plugged the ear buds into my ears and pushed play.

How did it go? Well, unsurprisingly, I felt a little self conscious meditating in public. I thought my OMs instead of chanting them out loud at the beginning of the practice and I held my hands in Anjali Mudra in my lap. The chair practice incorporated a lot of arms overhead stretches and I felt pretty conspicuous after the fourth or fifth one. Likewise, after the first couple of forward bends in my chair, I wondered if people were watching me and judging me. It was very difficult not to become self aware to the max. And then my practice was interrupted because I had to go stand in line at the gate counter to get my passport validated again. When I resumed it, I really struggled to find a calm mind again because I was all revved up to go to Mexico. Will I do a chair practice again next time I have a long plane day? I don't know--it was convenient on a day when I was traveling SO early and traveling to an earlier time zone, eliminating my daylight hours. But yesterday morning, I made sure to go to a yoga class at the resort spa before we checked out and headed to the airport.

I went to the 8 AM yoga class at the spa Monday-Friday this week. A muscular, short instructor named Mauricio taught the classes. His English was quite good. Except for yesterday, he taught entirely in English. Yesterday he translated everything into Spanish for a few Latina women. I didn't pick up anything, except inspiras and espiras. Mauricio really focused on the breath a lot in his classes, when to inhale and exhale, how many times, and breathing into the diaphragm, not the chest. This kind of pranayama instruction can feel patronizing to me often, given how long I've been practicing yoga. I have to remind myself in gym/spa/community yoga classes that not everyone who comes to these classes has been practicing yoga for over 10 years, or even over a month, and that I'm lucky that the instructor is teaching pranayama with such focus at all. Mauricio even ventured into Nadi Shodhana Pranayama, i.e. Alternate Nostril or Channel Cleaning Breath. Regardless, it was hard to be critical of Mauricio with his cute little accent and way of saying Downward Facing Dog ("Down Dog Facing" or "Facing Doggie Down") and adorable pronunciation of vertebrae.

Mauricio led yoga on this pier one day--Lovely. Picture by jeco.

Back in the USA, I entered month 2 of my Yoga 360 today. I've done yoga for 32 straight days for at least 30 minutes! I suppose I should pause and reflect at this point on how I feel, but I'm blogged out for the day. Tomorrow, I'll post with some musings about the 1-month mark, along with my minute count for the last 10 days! Until then,

Namaste.

Como se dice "Downward-Facing Dog" en espanol?

2010-01-28T12:49:00.000-08:00

This is NOT Seattle.

I admit it: I am a lucky, lucky gal. What else can I say about the fact that the biggest obstacle to my 360-day yoga quest thus far is that, gosh darn it, I'm flying to the Riviera Maya in Mexico tomorrow morning to stay at the resort pictured above with my family for a week? I am a lucky, lucky gal.

But I have put a lot of thought over the last few weeks into how will I practice yoga on vacation in warm, exciting, DISTRACTING Mexico? How will I be able to practice with genuine attention in a two-bedroom resort/time share unit with my father, stepmother, brother, and sister-in-law hanging around? Do I take a mat, buy some of those strap-on yoga paws for my hands and feet instead, or wing it without a mat on the bare floor or carpet? If the resort has yoga classes, will they be led in Spanish? And what about those 8-hour travel days?

I don't yet have the answers to many of these questions, but I am not taking a mat, nor did I buy yoga paws. I am winging it on the room floor, and, whether or not I have an audience, I will do yoga every day. Somehow. If the resort classes are in Spanish, that will be a pretty cool experience! And if not, hey, at least I'll have the option to go to a class. Finally, I downloaded not one, but two CHAIR podcasts for my big air travel days. I'll have to combine them with some other light yoga/pranayama/meditation to get my minimum 30 minute quota, but I'm excited to have found these. I'm so psyched to do one at my gate in Houston tomorrow!

I'll be sure to post about keeping up a regular yoga practice while far away from regular life. But for now, here's my yoga minutes for the last 13 days.

Day 11, 1/16: 55 minutes Day 18, 1/23: 75 minutes
Day 12, 1/17: 48 minutes Day 19, 1/24: 90 minutes
Day 13, 1/18: 90 minutes Day 20, 1/25: 60 minutes
Day 14, 1/19: 50 minutes Day 21, 1/26: 40 minutes
Day 15, 1/20: 90 minutes Day 22, 1/27: 90 minutes
Day 16, 1/21: 40 minutes Day 23, 1/28: 75 minutes
Day 17, 1/22: 30 minutes

One pose I'm hatin' on: Salamba Kapotasana, or Supported Pigeon Pose. Or Eka Pada Rajakapotasna, i.e. One-Legged King Pigeon Pose--and any variation in between. My knees aren't liking these poses at all this week.

And one pose I'm loving: Bakasana, or Crane Pose. Mostly because I did it right AND held it for longer than two seconds for the first time ever today! Yay!

This will soon be me. Except for the gender thing, I suppose.

Namaste!

Note to self: yoga should not be a chore.

2010-01-26T10:18:00.000-08:00

Well, it shouldn't, right?

This kind of outlook is one of the challenges I've bumped into thus far in my 360 days of yoga quest. There are days, like today, where I wake up, feel kinda of blech physically and blah mentally, and the prospect of doing yoga doesn't exactly make my heart sing. It feels like something I "have to do." So, when I was telling a friend about what my day looked like recently, I said something like: "I want to spend a little time working the office, and I need to spend some time cleaning at home, and I've have to do my yoga still." He remarked that the way I was talking about yoga made it sound like this dreaded chore, and that seemed kind of contrary to why I am trying to do yoga for 360 days in the first place.

And he's right. When devising this yoga challenge for myself, I did not seek to add a daily chore to my life. I sought to add daily joy and calm and movement. But I AM human. Of course, when I wake up with a migraine, I'm not going to skip to my yoga mat. And I've woken up with two migraines this week--which is usually the maximum amount of migraines I have in a month. With any luck, I won't have another one for four weeks. However, I still have to get through today. The headache is fading, but I feel a little weak overall, unfocused, and sort of nauseous. I have yet to do yoga today. When I do, I know to avoid a lot of Uttanasana and to skip the inversions all together: I want to minimize poses that send blood rushing to the head. And I'm probably not going to want to hold Utkatasana for very long today because of my nausea. Today is a day for a gentle yoga practice, a restorative yoga practice.

I know that I am the one who decides what qualifies as a day's yoga practice in my challenge. Some people would craft flexible rules for themselves, rules that bend all sorts of ways so that they don't fail. Now I don't want to fail, but I'm kind of a hard a** with myself. I am writing down how much time I spend doing yoga every day, and on days when I'm crafting my own pose sequence, I'm timing it and making sure I keep at it for over 30 minutes. Which is great! But I also have this idea in my head that I'm "cheating" if I spend a day's practice just doing gentle yoga stretches or restorative poses or doing more meditation or breath work. If I really want to practice yoga though, I absolutely have to let go of the idea that I have to break a sweat or feel my muscles burning in my daily practice. Burning calories is not yoga!!!

In fact, only one of the 8 limbs of yoga, as laid out in the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, has anything to do with poses and "exercise" at all--the third limb, Asana, which regards body postures. The literal meaning of the word Asana is not "pose" however. It is "seat," often used in the context of a seated position one can comfortably maintain for meditation. As for the other 7 limbs of yoga, they cover morality, personal observances, control of breath, control of the senses, cultivating inner perceptual awareness, meditation on the Divine, and union with the divine. While I may discuss these more at a later date, I refer you to Wikipedia for now!

My point is: with so little importance given to the sweating buckets aspect of yoga, I really must give more attention to the other aspects of yoga. Especially on days like today: practicing Pranayama (breath exercises) and Dhyana (meditation) may actually help alleviate my migraine, and they definitely won't make me feel worse. Focusing on these other limbs of yoga aren't cheating. However, if I focused only on Asanas, I would be cheating myself.

"Meditate, you must. Yes, hmmm."

Namaste!

The challenges of practicing at home

2010-01-22T09:03:00.001-08:00

Ugh.

Let me set the scene. It's Friday morning. I've been writing for the man most every day for the past two weeks. I've also been doing yoga every day for the past two weeks (plus three days). Honestly, my life has never felt so routine and predictable. Good thing? Bad thing? Routines give me balance, and also can be quite conducive to better productivity. And, yes, I HAVE been on schedule with my writing. I have kept my place moderately clean. I have cooked meals and prepared lunch and even met my personal goal to ride the bus to the office at least once a week, and to go to the gym once a week. So I ask myself:

Is a regular yoga practice causing this regularity in the rest of my life? AND
How can an ADHD mind like mine tolerate the lack of drama?

Answers: Maybe, and I have NO IDEA.

For the last several years, my days have varied immensely from one to the next. In work, in mood, in energy, in sleep, in food, in everything. On one hand, that kind of variation is very exciting, stimulating to a brain that craves stimulation. It can provoke great creativity and lots of ideas. On the other hand, that kind of daily variation doesn't allow much room for actual growth and progress. I sort of forgot how to complete projects, how to follow through. So for all the exciting ideas and plans I'd make, most of them barely got off the ground. I'd abandon them as my life shifted and my interest with it. Ultimately, I felt like a failure and like I wasn't living up to my potential. While I think "Failure" is a harsh word now, I do think the latter was true.

Then, after perhaps the most varied, nutty six to eight months of my life, things began to settle down. I began to settle into things. Not that I love everything that I've settled into. I don't really enjoy writing for the man, but it does work for me right now. I would like to settle into my fiction writing instead, but that is another story. Right now, I'm just proud that I've settled into any routine at all, and that I'm not too itchy to ditch it.

The very first brick I laid in my more settled routine was yoga. Even when my life was whipping around everywhere like a cyclone, I went to yoga class on Tuesday mornings. Then I added Friday mornings. Then I swapped Tuesdays with Wednesdays. And then I changed Fridays to Mondays at a different studio. Okay, so this doesn't look very consistent and steady, but the point is: I've been committed to attending a regular yoga class most every week for about three years, and I've gone to Om Town on Wednesday mornings for Wendy's class for a full year.

A weekly yoga class only gives structure to ~90 minutes of the 10,080 minutes in a week. That's almost nothing. But what important 90 minutes they are! In the depths of an ugly depression or uncertain time, those 90 minutes gave me focus outside of the sad and the scary emotions that were dominating my life. I focused on my breath, on balance, on my muscle energy, and on the minute muscles and bones in my body--how to move each one into better alignment. I focused on not throwing up after holding my arms up in chair position for an eternity (or maybe just 90 seconds...).

Proper alignment takes a lot of focus, frequent check-ins, and minor adjustments. My therapist recently asked me if I had a lot of creative ideas while practicing yoga. The answer is absolutely not. Maybe if I let my mind wander in Savasana, a notion will come to me. But generally, my mind is so focused on my practice that there is no room for creative lightening bolts to strike. There is also no room for moodiness, and I note stress in my body, not my brain. When I think how therapeutic therapy is for me, I wonder why I wig out about dropping money on yoga classes but not on my therapist, who is great, but maybe not as essential to my well being as my yoga practice. Hmmmm....

I do think that by settling into a yoga routine, I laid the foundation to settle into the rest of my life with more ease. I think it's increased my patience, so that I can endure longer with dull work days that resemble one another an awful lot these days. Not that I'm complacent, but that I'm more or less content with things at this moment and I can sit still to ride it out. This is HUGE!

Now, in committing to 360 straight days of yoga, I'm biting off a lot. Some caring individuals, who know me pretty dang well and have seen my sudden starts and stops over the years, have expressed a little concern that I'm setting myself up to fail and that I'll be crushed if I do fail. That maybe I should give myself a break here and there. I really do understand where these concerns come from. I'm not offended or upset that these important people have reacted this way. I have these concerns too, trust me. But if I don't commit all the way, if I'm not absolute and firm in this goal, I WILL fail.

So on to my second question, how can an ADHD mind like mine tolerate the lack of drama? Or, put in the context of daily yoga practice, how can an ADHD mind like mine maintain enthusiasm for yoga practice day in and day out, especially when I'm practicing at home? This IS hard. When I'm trying to execute a pose sequence of my own design, at home, alone, lasting at least 30 minutes--well, I don't hold poses for that long. I get bored and want to get to the next sun salutation. I grow antsy in Savasana and I want to jump up and get in the shower. In my 360 of yoga, I need to mix it up with classes at yoga studios, at gyms, with podcasts, with yoga CDs, with yoga books, websites, etc. The other day, I bought the Yoga Deck so I could pull out cards to create a yoga sequence and then lay them out in front of my mat on the floor. I've got to stay flexible in my mind to succeed at this year of yoga.

The truth is that this is a great opportunity to try new yoga studios, teachers, positions, books, resources. If I look at it this way, it feels varied even in the routine, and my brain stays stimulated. I'm going to try to go to a new yoga studio/venue or try a new yoga teacher every week or two for the first few months of this project. And I need to keep invigorating my home practice, because one of my main intentions in this project IS to develop a good home yoga practice! I welcome any ideas about how to keep yoga fun and engaging at home. And I'd love to go with anyone to their yoga studio for a class!

By the way, tomorrow, Saturday, January 23 is:
a.) My half birthday. In my view, the age of 33 and a half is the official marker of being in one's "mid-thirties."
b.)Yoga Day USA. There will be free yoga events all over the place, and I will definitely be going to one of them! More about Yoga Day USA here.

And now, I'm going to get out of this chair and head to the office. And get some very not yogi-like coffee. Wah ha ha ha!

Utkatasana
Please make it stop. I can't hold my arm bones up this way any longer.

What is this blog all about? -- Part Two

2010-01-17T22:41:00.000-08:00

As discussed in Part One of "What is this blog all about," the potential changes and benefits I might experience over the course of 360 days are infinite. Not all of them are positive, of course. I might tear a muscle or dislocate my shoulder. I might become stressed out about squeezing in my yoga practice and behave in some less than calm, peaceful, kind ways. AND what will I do if I become very sick, break a bone, am in a serious accident, suffer a serious head injury, get imprisoned (not likely, but you never know!), become pregnant? There are deal breakers, so it is important to set out the conditions of my year of yoga.

1. First, what defines a daily yoga practice, i.e. for how long will I do yoga each day? I am committing to spending a minimum of 30 minutes doing yoga every day.

2. Does lying in Savasana for 30 minutes equate to a day's yoga practice? No. It does not. Nor does sitting cross-legged in meditation or resting in Balasana (Child's Pose) for 30 minutes. However, I will likely spend a few minutes in seated meditation at the beginning of my practice, a few minutes lying in Savasana at the end of my practice, and pause for a breath in Child's Pose pretty much every day--these three aspects of yoga practice are actually challenging for me, believe it or not! I get impatient, I want to take action, move to the next pose or the next activity. I've skipped Savasana in my home practice many, many times and rushed through meditation (which means I really didn't meditate at all). As meditation, rest, and the breath are very important parts of yoga, I am committing to practice these quieter poses with equal attention to the more active ones.

3. So aside from the passive parts of yoga, what else will go into a day's practice? I think the only pose that I can all but guarantee will be in every day's practice (notwithstanding injury or any unforeseen physical limitation) is Downward-Facing Dog. I really can't think of the last time I practiced yoga without doing this pose at some point, thus "360 days of Adho Mukha Svanasana" is the perfect title for this blog about my undertaking. Other than Downward Dog, I expect the asanas in my practice will vary day to day, especially when I get my day's practice in a yoga class. Different yoga teachers, class locales, and difficulty levels lend themselves to different poses. Likewise, when I practice at home, my body and mind often dictate the poses I do or don't do. Forward bends and inversions can be helpful in alleviating general anxiety, but they can agitate a migraine or headache. Likewise, back bends are good for opening the heart and elevating one's mood, but if my lower back is bothering me, I might not want to do either of these!

4. How will I track my yoga practice? How will I hold myself accountable? I'm tracking how long I've practiced yoga each day by writing the minute amount for each day. I don't know how to absolutely prove to the world that I do yoga everyday--without filming my practice with a live feed to the Internet and that is NOT going to happen. But I will write about my practice here every ~10 days or so. I will post the minutes for each day since my last post, and I'll write a little about how I am practicing and where, limitations and ideas that may be guiding my practice that week, poses I'm struggling with or loving, and so on. This way I not only hold myself accountable, but I am accountable to the Internet, whatever that is worth! Also, if you live in Seattle, or I'm visiting your region, you can help facilitate my practice by inviting me to your favorite yoga class or studio and witness my 360 in action.

5. What if I get the flu, food poisoning, pregnant, or cancer, or what if I break a bone, sprain my ankle, suffer a concussion or spinal injury, am in a coma, am imprisoned, on a 20-hour flight, or have some other impeding physical condition/limitation? First, for long days of travel and vacation: I will find a way to practice somehow, though it may be a lot more pranayama (breathing) and meditation if I am sandwiched in the middle seat of a flight across the world. Should I decide to go somewhere like Thailand, which requires a very long airplane ride or two and puts me on the ground a day and a half after my departure time due to the time change--I will either do yoga twice that day, or I will make it up when I come home and go through the reverse time shift (living through the same day twice pretty much). Also, there are still ways to practice yoga if I break my leg or arm, become pregnant, or have the flu, food poisoning, or even cancer some times. All such conditions will limit the range of my practice, but should one of these physical issues arise, I will adjust my yoga practice accordingly. More breath work, restorative poses, gentle stretches to uninjured regions. BUT if I suffer a spinal injury, or be hospitalized and completely immobilized, or chained up in prison (I really don't expect this to happen!), such conditions are clearly deal breakers. Right now, these types of serious life events are my 360-days of yoga's only deal breakers.

Voila! If anyone in the Internet world can think of some other important issue I need to address to lay out my year of yoga, please comment away!

I had planned to go into why, aside from any of the potential positive benefits listed above, I want to do yoga for 360 days, but this post is rather LONG already and I still need to do my daily yoga practice! So I will write about some other reasons next time! For now, here's my log for the first 10 days of my yoga 360:

Day 1, 1/6: 90 minutes
Day 2, 1/7: 30 minutes
Day 3, 1/8: 60 minutes
Day 4, 1/9: 60 minutes
Day 5, 1/10: 40 minutes
Day 6, 1/11: 90 minutes
Day 7, 1/12: 60 minutes
Day 8, 1/13: 90 minutes
Day 9, 1/14: 75 minutes
Day 10, 1/15: 30 minutes

One pose I'm hating on: Baddha Utthita Parsvakonasana or Bound Side-Angle Pose

Clearly, this SMILING woman is not me.

One pose I'm loving: Utthita Parsvakonasana or Side Angle Pose (Doing lots of side angle poses lately!)

This also is not me. FYI.

Namaste!

What is this blog all about? -- Part One

2010-01-13T07:39:00.000-08:00

Welcome!

My name is Jessica and I am a yoga fiend. It's true. Yoga has helped me through some difficult times. It has transformed my body and mind. Yoga is something I am unabashedly, totally passionate about. So much so that I am committing to practicing yoga for 360 straight days.

You, my imagined readers, may ask, "Why 360 days versus, say, 365 days?" Well, some people make resolutions for New Years. I have not grown up to be one of those people. I am one of those people who forget to think about New Years resolutions until New Years Day. Likewise, I am a person who doesn't like to set goals that aren't achievable (Learn to speak fluent Chinese this year!) or boring (Floss twice every day). And I am an over-thinker; if I am making a resolution, I better have a well thought-out plan of action. So... I don't make resolutions quickly or easily, which means I rarely succeed in making New Years resolution. But I do like the idea of resolutions, of setting massive goals and committing to them, of having criteria and deadlines to meet. And I like having a little more structure and responsibility in my daily life. I tend to be more successful and happy in most aspects of my life when I have a little bit of a fire burning under my tush.

So when the idea came to me, during Savasana in my Wednesday morning yoga class on January 6, to do yoga everyday for a year, I was only momentarily phased by the fact that the first five days of 2010 had already come and gone. I considered doing yoga for 365 days and wrapping up my year on January 5, 2011. But I like the number 360 for obvious reasons: a full rotation, a complete circle. Why are there 365 days in the typical year? There should totally be 360 days!

What does the starting point of a circle look like upon return, after you've traveled around its entire circumference? Does the planet look or feel any different after undergoing a full rotation? What does Adho Mukha Svanasana--Downward-Facing Dog, perhaps the most frequently executed pose by Western yoga practitioners--what does it feel like after doing the pose for 360 straight days? I want to know if it feels or looks different. And I want to know what I look and feel like after 360 straight days of doing yoga. I wonder, will I:

Feel happier? More balanced and patient? Calmer? More spiritual? Less anxious? Less inclined to suffer SAD in the winter?
Look different--be slimmer or have more muscle bulk? Grow a few centimeters in height?
Sleep better? Make smarter decisions about what I eat and drink?
Be more organized with my time and space? Keep my apartment cleaner so I have room for my yoga mat and to do handstand at the wall? Improve my focus and attention in other parts of my life?
Be more mindful of others in my words and actions, even my thoughts? Be kinder to myself, love myself more, forgive myself for not being perfect?
Be stronger in my core? Be more stable in my pelvis? Have better posture/alignment? Develop those tiny muscles in my inner hips and the arches of my feet to protect my knees and to help stave off genetic physical ailments? Reduce the frequency of migraines? Improve my circulation? Achieve super healthy blood pressure readings?
Master more challenging poses that we do once in awhile in yoga class and then don't return to again for several months, so that I never really feel like I've full learned how to properly execute them? Poses like Bakasana? Get my hamstrings to finally open up enough to straighten my legs all the way in Uttanasana or to touch my heels to the ground in Downward Dog? Stand on one leg with my other foot up by my head without tipping over?
Be more content with yuck weather and yuck work and yuck people? Handle difficult news and situations with more equanimity and grace?
Be forever transformed?
Levitate????

Stay tuned...

Namaste!